


A Mistake to Fix

by BloodCalling13



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodCalling13/pseuds/BloodCalling13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an adventure that goes horribly pear shaped, the Doctor stumbles upon the realization that Rose was once upon a time an abuse victim, and must now correct his mistake in judgement. Rating for later chapters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Doctor Who. Let me know what you think.

The Doctor was loathed to admit when he was wrong, not that there was anything wrong with being _wrong,_ but it was bloody inconvenient to be so on basic things. How was he supposed to know all of the emotional needs of his companions, what with him being an _alien_? This was why he allowed Jack Harkness to travel with Rose and him aboard the TARDIS, the man was human and could sort out these pesky problems the Doctor seemed to be able to run into. He loved humans for their potential, but their emotional needs were as alien to him as his are to them.

Right now, Jack was going to earn his keep aboard the TARDIS if the Doctor could just find the damn ex-Time Agent in this hellhole. He had put a biosignature in the irritating captain’s favorite coat (figuring the man may loose his clothes but he was too sentimental about his coat if stumbling back to the TARDIS in just that was any clue to go by), and had followed its signature with his sonic screwdriver to the local glamorous club on the planet he had dropped Jack off of before departing on an adventure with Rose. There were too many bodies packed into the small place and even with his darkest Oncoming Storm look, the muffled lights seemed to keep him invisible, and if he was jostled one more time, he was not going to be responsible for him blowing the damn building sky high just for existing.

“Doctor?” the Doctor heard his name being called off to the side. The Doctor slipped his sonic screwdriver into his leather pocket before turning towards the ex-Time Agent. Jack waved him over towards the large round booth he was currently lounging across, a small group of both genders of the local population swamping him on either side. The locals of Komos were drawn to Jack’s solid coloring of skin, their own iridescent and changing with the shifting lights. Knowing the novelty of having only one skin color had assured the Doctor that Jack would stay too busy, hopefully, to get too far into trouble.

“Time to be off,” the Doctor grumbled at Jack, making a point to look Jack dead in the eyes with his icy stare. He noticed some of the locals shift in a bid for attention, but the Doctor was in no mood to even bother with niceties.

“Oh come on Doc,” Jack slurred a little as he leaned over to kiss one of the females snuggled up to his side. “Live a little.”

The Doctor was once a man of great patience, or well at least _some_ patience, at one point in his life. After the Time War, he could not remember having any patience with anyone but Rose, and most certainly not with Jack Harkness who flirted with anything that was sentient. And with the dark mood Rose seemed to be in, the Doctor really could not be blamed for grabbing ahold of Jack’s lapels and jerking him to his feet, nor the screams of outrage as he proceeded to drag Jack behind him against his drunk will.

Their adventure on Mootranp, a planet of human hybrids in the future, had gone horribly pear shaped to the point it left a very foul taste in his mouth. Rose had been captured by Xyrok, a man (term loosely used since he was only human in appearance) who was bent on world enslavement, and had used Rose as a negotiation piece with the Doctor. It had taken the Doctor almost a week (six days, thirteen hours, forty-two minutes and twelve seconds, but who was counting?) to rescue Rose, to incite the people into a civil war and break into the fortress of Xyrok.

Rose had been happy to see him, had cried into his shoulder when he had opened up the shock collar around her throat and freed her from the prison of her room. Her room had been very pleasant accommodations, the remains of a comfortable dinner, and he had not seen a mark on her, so he had thought nothing about it as he swept her towards the TARDIS. She was adamant about her being fine, really he should have recognized that tactic, it was his signature bit after all.

When she had started screaming in her sleep, the Doctor had realized she hadn’t divulged something. She was adamant about nothing being wrong the next morning, even with the heavy layer of concealer under her eyes. When she was screaming and sobbing the next night, the Doctor had made a mistake. He had pushed her the next morning, threatening her to tell him what was wrong. His hearts could not handle her keeping something from him, and in his desperation to know what was wrong, he had done something he wasn’t proud of; he had threatened to enter her mind and find out himself if she wasn’t willing to share.

It was a tactical move, one he had thought would yield the desired result of her telling him. He had expected rage, expected her human emotions to boil over and her to shout at him and give him a clue as to what was wrong. Instead she had grown calm, the kind that comes before a storm, and stepped towards him. The left side of his face still stung from where she had slapped him, and she had not held back any bit of her strength before fleeing. He was ashamed to admit it, but he was certain he preferred to be slapped by Jackie than Rose.

His big ol’ brain had quit working, and it had taken him a minute to check and see if she had damaged any of his synapsis to try and explain the momentary inability to process what had just transpired. His hearts had stuttered and his temper flared, and he started down the hall to track her down and have this little spat over and done with. The TARDIS, on the other hand, had shifted Rose’s room and no matter how much he raged at his ship, she was hiding the pink and yellow human’s room from him. When he walked back into the console room and slammed his fists on the heavy metal of the console, trying to vent some of the rage building up in him, the TARDIS had had enough.

Nine hundred years and there had been very few moments that had actually made his hearts stop beating and tears well up in his eyes. The TARDIS flooding his mind with the image of Rose Tyler curled up on her bed, crying so hard her whole body shook as she tried to gasp in air between sobs, was added to the top of that list. He was not aware he had stumbled, not aware of his back finding the railing and sliding down to sit on the floor. The Doctor wasn’t aware he was crying until the TARDIS receded to the back of his mind and released him from the image of Rose. His only thought had been: what had he done?

“Slow down Doc,” Jack complained as he tried to dig his heels into the sidewalk. “What’s the big rush?” When the Doctor made a point of ignoring him, Jack twisted until the Doctor was left holding his coat. “What’s the matter?” Jack crossed his arms over his check, giving a pointed look at the Doctor, the hypervodka effects seeming to have left him.

The Doctor huffed, giving in to the need of help before panic start to set in, and he was going to slip into panic if he could not figure out how to fix what he had done. He did not want Rose to leave him, and he was sure she would if he couldn’t fix this mess. “Rose is screaming and crying in her sleep,” the Doctor admitted in a low voice, his eyes dropped to study Jack’s coat intently, “and I may have made it worse.”

Jack seemed pale for a moment before his features became tight with anger. “Just what did you do?” Jack bit out.

“Oi!” The Doctor’s head whipped up, his eyes growing dark, before his memory caught up with him. His head dropped in shame and his voice grew quiet. “I said I’d get into her head if she wouldn’t tell me.”

“Please tell me you didn’t really say that,” Jack snarled. The Doctor’s attention snapped to Jack, Jack’s features darkening and for a moment, the Doctor wondered if he was going to need to reset his nose if Jack swung at him. He was certain he did deserve the possibility of a punch from Jack. “Please tell me you did not just threaten to mentally rape your companion, to a woman who has suffered enough abuse already. Tell me you would not sink so low.”

“I had no intention of following through, not with being held hostage for a week!” The Doctor yelled, his temper flaring as well. He threw the brown coat at Jack, before turning and stomping back to the TARDIS. He couldn’t have taken more than a few steps before what Jack said caught up to him. He had to triple check what was just said, trying to wrap his mind around what Jack, who had not been on the ship for the entirety of the pear shaped adventure, had just revealed. “What are you talking about?” the Doctor asked softly, not daring to turn around.

Synapsis fired in rapid succession, little notes he had made about Rose started to click into place. The low opinion she had of herself, the relationship she had had with Rickey the Idiot and not looking back after leaving him behind, the constant need for validation, how she seemed to be able to brush off the harshness of his words… oh bloody hell. The Doctor’s repertory bypass had to kick in when he stopped breathing in realization.

The Oncoming Storm had just become the scum of the universe by threatening an abuse victim.

Bile rose in his throat and the Doctor ducked down an alley just a few strides away, leaning against the wall to throw up. Superior biology be damned, the Doctor didn’t care how undignified it was to toss out everything in his stomachs, to see it splatter on his boots or to taste the acids of his stomach. He had not felt this wretched since he had to end the Time War, and even then this was a very close second. He had done lots of horrible things in his life, with a lifespan of nine hundred years, it’s impossible to avoid, but he had never felt this low.

When the worst of the spasms passed, and the Doctor decided anything banana flavored should not be thrown up ever, he slowly straightened, wiping his mouth on the back of his leather sleeve. He didn’t look at Jack as he passed the Doctor a flask, which the Doctor took a long swig from without caring about the burn of the hypervodka. It took him a moment to make sure his stomachs would not revolt again before turning back to Jack’s malevolent glare.

“Who was he?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read my little fic and thank you to DocDonna for the review. Sorry the update wasn't as fast as I was hoping, my computer decided it was time to join all the great pieces of tech in tech heaven and I had to get a new one, and posting from my phone was not working out like I had hoped.

“His name is Jimmy Stone,” Jack spit out the name as if it were something nasty in his mouth. “And he messed her up bad Doc.” Jack came to stand near the Doctor, watching the Time Lord stare off at the dingy wall at the end of the alley.

“How bad?” the Doctor forced himself to ask, not sure if he even wanted to hear what Jack would say. He took another deep swig from the flask, feeling the burn in the back of his throat and letting his mind absently focus on that.

“She won’t talk about it, not even when she was drunk,” Jack admitted as he swung his coat around to wrap himself back in it. “But you’ve seen the signs, haven’t you?”

Classic signs of human abuse, honestly how could he have missed it? She wasn’t the first to travel with him that was damaged, though how bad she is damaged would explain why she stayed on with him. And he had taken her to the year five billion to watch her whole planet burn. Briefly, the Doctor wondered if he could go back in the TARDIS and box himself in his giant ears for that idea. Paradox be damned at the moment.

“Didn’t think on it, me. Bit daft to that human bit,” the Doctor admitted, letting his ego take the hit. He never claimed to be perfect; fantastic, mad, superior, genius even, but never did he claim perfect.

Jack moved, and the ex-Time Agent toed the line of the Doctor’s good will. With an open palm, he smacked the back of the Doctor’s head with a good bit of force. It didn’t sting near as bad as Rose’s slap but it did cause him to yell, “Oi!” and hold the back of his head.

“Superior Time Lord brain of yours not work so well Doc?” Jack asked sarcastically.

The Doctor glowered as he rubbed the back of his head, his thoughts turning dark for a moment before he remembered he needed Jack.

“Works just fine,” the Doctor grumbled. “You just forget you’re the aliens to me. Apes, the lot of you, running around hurting one another just because you can.”

“Like Time Lords were any better,” Jack snapped back, his arms crossed over his chest again and he was glaring at the Doctor, challenging him to dispute his words.

The Doctor glared back. “Better than you lot.”

Jack threw up his arms and stomped away. “Daft alien, you are mate!” He shouted over his shoulder, before he turned back around and stomped back to snatch back his forgotten flask from the Doctor’s hand. He threw back his head and drained the flask, shuddering from the burn in the back of his throat before his dark eyes locked on the Doctor’s blue ones.

“So how do you plan to fix this right mess?”

The Doctor admitted, not for the first time in this body, that he had no idea. Normally the not knowing would be a thrill for him, the chance at adventure, and a chance to run off the itch in his feet from standing still, the chance to see time unfold before him and civilizations bloom. This time though, it sent a current of fear through him, and he could swear he could taste pear in his mouth (not that he would _ever_ touch the stuff or even look at it, but still that’s what the taste in his mouth reminded him of). His feet itched to run, but he knew there was no way to run from this problem. If he didn’t fix this right mess, Rose would leave, and he would have broken the one friend he had in the whole universe that knew about the Oncoming Storm. (Sarah Jane knew the old Doctor, and he was far from the man he used to be.)

Jack had been no help, declaring this was one mess that the Doctor needed to fix all on his own or Jack promised he would make the Doctor regret hurting Rose. The Doctor wondered how Jack could make him regret hurting Rose more than he already did, he tasted pear for Rassilon sake! He was quite sure he’d rather eat a whole basket of pears than have hurt Rose this bad, or even run the chance of her wanting to leave. If that wasn’t a disturbing thought, the Doctor wasn’t quite sure what was.

The two men had walked back to the TARDIS in silence, Jack glancing over at the Doctor every few steps to spout off something along the lines of, “Superiorly stupid Time Lord,” and “Bloody idiotic alien,” while glaring at the Doctor. The Doctor took every insult, knowing he deserved them and not bothering to raise a defense for himself. Upon arrival back to the TARDIS, the TARDIS had tried to slam the Doctor’s hand in her door after shocking him when he slipped his key in the lock, while Jack had stormed off to his room, leaving the Doctor alone in the console room with a very angry time ship. He could feel her darkness in the back of his mind, her displeasure thick in the charged air.

It had taken several minutes to try and coax her to at least listen to him, plying her with promises of fixing things with Rose, to never do something this stupid again, to take a look at the quantum circuits that he had been pushing off in favor of showing Rose the universe. She had turned her metaphorical back on him, pointedly ignoring his northern words of sweetness and bribery, until he promised he only wanted to go to the Vortex, to prevent him from doing anything else until he could smooth things over with Rose.

When she had huffed and gave him a whisper of acceptance, he leapt at the chance to maneuver the ship into the Vortex, noting how the controls moved with very little prompt before they locked in place and the TARDIS powered down the console. The Doctor could feel the ship shuffle her rooms, the air tingling across his open skin in a barely detectable whisper, before the TARDIS flickered the lights in the hallway. The TARDIS made it a point to tell him she would not budge, or move anything back, until he fixed his mistake.

The hallway was short, every door hidden somewhere else in the ship, except for the coral colored door at the end of the hallway. The Doctor’s breath hitched as he looked at the elegant rose carved into the surface of the door, his stomachs knotting and the itch in his feet growing worse as his fear mounted. He wanted to run, confrontation had never been his thing, but the TARDIS knew him all too well and had left him with nowhere to run.

His hearts thudded in his chest as he approached the door, listening for the sound of sobbing coming from the other side of the door. But all seemed to be quiet, and there seemed to be no movement on the other side, if the light under the doorframe was any clue. His hands flexed at his side, his nervousness making that pear flavor stronger in his mouth, and he wondered if this was a new quirk with this body. He hadn’t tasted pear when Rose had been held hostage by the Dalek or by Xyrok, so why was now so different?

_No time to plan,_ he thought as he raised his fist to knock gently on the wood near the rose carving. _Just have to wing it._ He waited and listened with his superior hearing, trying to catch any sound coming from the other side of the door, but there was none that he could hear. Panic set in as his mind came up with so many scenarios as to why she wouldn’t answer her door, and his repertory bypass had to kick in when he felt his throat closing off in blind panic.

He felt the equivalent of his sentient ship huff in exasperation rush through his mind before the audible sound of the lock disengaging from the inside. The Doctor glanced down, noting how there was no movement from the other side of the door, before he reached for the doorknob hesitantly. He shouldn’t enter her room without her permission, it was _Rose’s room_ and to do so didn’t feel right, and he certainly had no right to enter it now. But his hearts ached to see her, to drink in the sight of her in case he couldn’t fix this and she decided to leave.

Companions had left him in the past, maybe as often as he left them behind. He was used to people leaving him, his whole damn species had died so he was used to the hurt that came with it. But if Rose left, he wasn’t sure he would survive. She was the only thing holding him together. The universe had survived before Time Lords, and no doubt it would continue if the last Time Lord joined his people.

With what little courage he could muster together, he quietly turned the knob of Rose’s room and opened the door a crack, just enough to see inside. She laid curled up on her bed, her pink and yellow body wrapped around her pillow tightly, and he could smell the salt of her tears heavy in the air. Her breathing was irregular in her exhausted state, and she sniffled periodically in her sleep. He could only see her back as it faced the door, the dim light of the room illuminating just enough to see the pile of tissues piled up around the bed.

The Doctor had been in Rose’s room before, with her permission, and while the room was never perfectly straight, neither was it overly messy. The walls were a soft shade of red, the carpet a deep green, a large dark wood vanity with a matching chair against one wall, the mirror edged with photos she had collected during their trips and some of her family. Her bed was a queen size, more than big enough for the one little human, the spread a swirl of greys, white, and blues, reminded him of a watercolor painting.

With great care, the Doctor stepped around the scattered tissues, tip toeing his way over to the other side of the bed so he could see Rose. He crouched down on the floor, watching his little human in her state of unrest, for she was most definitely his human with the way his hearts skipped a beat at the sight of her. Her face was half buried in the pillow, but he could see the redness of her nose and eyes, clear signs of the pain he had caused her. Her bleached hair was sticking about in odd ends, and his fingers itched to smooth down the mess of her hair, but he didn’t dare touch her.

The Doctor was a coward; he would never deny the truth of that. He had run away from the rift in time, and in this moment, he would run away in the face of Rose Tyler. He stood up, and moved to depart her room, his boots nudging himself a path in the tissues, when Rose shifted slightly in her sleep, causing the Doctor’s head to whip around and look on in fear. She shivered in her sleep before settling back into her pillow, and the Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. It was then that he noticed her trainers were still on her feet, and there were goosebumps on her arms.

The Doctor didn’t think about his actions, just moved closer so that he could carefully help her slip her trainers off of her feet, taking the edge of the blanket and folding it over until it covered her up to her waist. Rose had not bothered to move the comforter when she had curled up on her bed, too busy with her tears the Doctor mused, so the Doctor was forced to move what bit of the comforter he could to cover her up, but it wasn’t enough. Her torso was still exposed, and he could not find a spare blanket or throw around the room. _Odd,_ the Doctor thought but pushed it out of his mind, the TARDIS was royally pissed at him, and this was probably her way of getting back at him. The Doctor wondered how Rose would react in the morning, as he shrugged out of the heavy leather jacket, waking up to find he had been in her room and his jacket draped over her as an improvised blanket.

The Doctor was very careful to ease the jacket over the sleeping Rose before he retreated from the room, rubbing his arms through his green jumper as he eased her door quietly closed. He felt a bit naked without the heavy coat over his shoulders, but his discomfort was worth it as long as Rose was comfortable. He owed her so much more than that, but his jacket was all he could give her until she woke up and he could face her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has followed this story so far, who have commented, given kuddos, and all the love to it.

If there was one thing The Doctor hated more in the universe than Daleks, senseless death, domestics, and pears, it was being idle. To a person constantly moving, exploring and tinkering, being forced to sit still was enough to drive a sentient creature mad. And with how displeased the TARDIS was, the Doctor was forced to do just that. He was forced to sit in the captain’s chair, as Rose had dubbed it, and sift through the contents of his inter-dimensional pockets, trying to find _something_ to do to pass the time. And he was hyper aware of every tick of the clock in his head, his nerves wearing with each passing second.

The TARDIS did not move the rooms back, did not allow him anywhere near the console controls, and had given him a very nasty shock when he had reached for the panel under the console to start doing repair work that wasn’t important just yet. Between the slap from Rose, the smack from Jack, and now burnt fingertips from the TARDIS, he wasn’t sure he would end up keeping this body whole before this was all over. He needed to keep himself busy, and she was not allowing him to do anything.

The Oncoming Storm was in time-out, put there by his sentient ship who was so very livid at him.

He, the last Time Lord in existence, the man who had sent the Dalek’s cowering, whose name was whispered with reverence and fear across the universe, was being treated like a naughty child, and it was wearing on his sanity.

Keeping this still, with only his own company in his head since the TARDIS only flooded him with malevolence, was giving him far too much time to think. Thinking was the last thing he wanted to do, it let his mind wander and memories to surface. He kept himself busy to keep the memories at bay. Nine hundred years of memory strolling was not something he wanted to do, especially since most of it was painful or dark. There were very few bright spots in his life right now.

He abandoned the search through his pockets, realizing he had used most of the electrical components he usually kept in his pockets when he was trying to free Rose from Xyrok. He hadn’t thought to replenish his stock, being too busy concerned with Rose and why she wouldn’t talk to him. He hadn’t even put a banana in his pocket to snack on, and that was just cruel on his part. Not that he needed to eat at this moment in time, but it would have been something to do at least! And it may have helped ease the memory of pear in his mouth. _On second thought,_ _there was a distinct possibility the pear flavor could have contaminated the flavor of the banana. Pear-banana,_ the Doctor gagged a little at that thought.

There was shuffling coming from the end of the hallway, and the Doctor’s hearts seized as his hearing picked up the sounds of Rose waking up. He gripped the edge of the seat with white knuckles, not daring to turn around as he heard her door open quietly. Her steps were soft, he could tell she had slipped her trainers back on by the way her steps squished just slightly, not enough for anyone without superior biology to notice.

He closed his eyes and inhaled, the scent of her floral shampoo wafting ahead of her, and the tang of his leather jacket following closely behind. The scent of Rose was one the Doctor enjoyed immensely, taking time to enjoy such a little pleasure, but never daring for more than that. Now that it mingled with the scent of his leather jacket, her smell was like a punch to his gut, he couldn’t breathe for a moment. He wanted so bad to make sure this was something he would enjoy more often, but he couldn’t lie to himself, not even now. There was a chance she was going to leave because of him, and he felt guilty for enjoying their scents mingled for just a moment.

Rose stopped in the hallway, probably noting the distinct lack of options as to where she was able to travel in the ship at the moment. The Doctor could almost smell the slight tang of her fear wafting off of her at the sight of his back to her, and his insides dropped out of him.

The Doctor’s mouth went dry as his head dropped, his grip on the seat growing tighter from the shame. He didn’t dare face her, not wanting to see the fear and rejection in her lovely brown eyes. His hearts couldn’t handle that.

“Not a great one for words, me. Five billion languages all up in this big ol’ brain, and none of ‘em are enough to make up for what I said.” The Doctor started, his voice rougher than normal as he tried to fill every syllable with the apology he couldn’t seem to make. His ice blue eyes opened, fixing on the dim green of the time rotor and not moving from their spot. In his mind, he wondered how bad he could bollocks this up. _Never was good at apologies,_ he thought darkly.

She didn’t say anything, just shifted a bit on her feet. He hoped she would stay silent as he tried to get the words out past the lump in his throat. He was going to try to give her a good apology, damnit! She didn’t have to forgive him right away, that was too much to expect from any species, just not leave him alone in the ship.

“Don’t right know about human emotions and feelings, what with me bein’ an alien. Time Lords were different,” he hesitated a moment, the flash of the silver leaves burning in his mind, “and that’s no reason.”

Rose moved, her steps soft on the grating, and he refused to look, closing his eyes. Cowardly move it was, but he wasn’t sure he could do this looking at her, not yet. She needed to hear him about before she decided.

“Time Lords superior, yeah? Telepathic bunch, could always hear the hum in our big heads of our people. Was comforting, a way to remind us we were never alone as we traveled out across the stars and time.” His voice shook a little as he looked down at his black boots, hyper aware of the tips of Rose’s in the edge of his vision. “Now it’s all quiet up here, no more whisper like before.”

Rose didn’t speak as he took a shaking breath to steady himself. _Good girl, you need to hear this_. “Telepathic yeah? Was forbidden to enter the mind of another without permission, punished severely you’d be. The kind that makes banishment seem like a slap on the wrist. Gallifrey had no rape like your lot has, only that of the mind.”

The Doctor looked up at Rose, her eyes still red and swollen from the night before, the edge of her little nose raw from the tissues, and he could see the trepidation in her eyes. Rose was a kind hearted person, but even he had tested the limits of her sweetness. Rassilon, he felt like scum for causing her pain.

“Don’t expect you to forgive me, no matter what I promise, and I can promise you the stars,” he chuckled dryly, and she her lips didn’t even twitch. “Just, let me try to show you I’m sorry for what I said.”

Rose was quiet as her eyes bore into his own, no doubt trying to gage how sincere he is. He tried to plead with his eyes, because he couldn’t plead with promises and words. Words were strong, but she had been lied to before, and he would not make the same mistake twice.

“And if I want to go?” Rose asked.

The Doctor’s hearts plummeted. He swallowed, trying to get some moisture back in his dry throat. “I won’t keep you against your will. Want you to stay, but I won’t hold you.”

Rose nodded, her eyes turned away to the time rotor. “Good.” She walked up to him, coming only close enough to hold out his leather jacket in her hand to him. “Don’t come in my room again Doctor, not for anything.”

He nodded eagerly, hope starting to bloom in his chest. Maybe she wasn’t going to leave. He could handle not going in her room, piece of cake that!

Rose turned around and started walking back to her room. “Take me back to my mum’s Doctor. I need to do some thinking.” He could hear the door click shut in his shock at her statement.

_Well so much for ‘forever’_ , the dark voice in the Doctor’s head snapped, but he shook it off. The spark of hope had dimmed considerably. He was very much in danger of losing Rose, and the self-hatred he had for himself would just drive her away if he couldn’t be hopeful. He had to be.

Letting go of his death grip on the jump seat, and flexing some feeling back into his stiff fingers, he stood slowly, circling the leather jacket on the floor, wary of it like it would bite him. _Good idea there ol’ girl,_ he shot at the TARDIS sarcastically, as he bent down to carefully lift the discarded piece of clothing and set it on the seat. The TARDIS chose to send him the equivalent of a dirty glare as she powered up the console, which he returned to the ceiling.

His dance around the console lacked any of the Doctor’s usual zip, his steps heavy and his movements a touch slower. He needed to think of a way to fix this, and he needed it soon. He could try begging, he had no dignity at this point, but it seemed like a useless effort. He could try the domestic approach; didn’t human males give flowers when they had fouled up somehow? The idea was discarded immediately, she knew he didn’t do domestics, and surely one of the other idiots in her past had done that.

A thought crossed his mind and he paused in mid-movement. What had that prat Stone done when he had abused her to try and ply her for her favor? Had he given her flowers? Promises? Even an apology? Rassilon’s dressing robes, he had no idea! He couldn’t inadvertently do the same thing to Rose, she would associate the two of them and would never set foot on the TARDIS again.

_Come on, Time Lord, me. I can figure this out… But how?_

The Doctor began moving again, keeping his footing as the TARDIS shuddered underneath him. He knew one person he could ask, and it didn’t make him feel any better as he tried to find another avenue to take. Rickey, well _Mickey_ the Idiot, probably wouldn’t have enough information; best mates they were, but that kind of information she probably didn’t share with anyone but one person, especially if she wouldn’t tell Jack while she was drunk.

The left side of his face hurt at the memory, and no part of him was relishing the fact that he would no doubt receive yet another slap to the face. The Tyler Slap, he was going to call it now, was not something he enjoyed being on the receiving end of, and there was no doubt he would be slapped again once he managed to get Jackie away from Rose long enough to talk. Was this body going to survive, or would this entire episode of his stupidity end in regeneration, and a complete waste of a regeneration.

Rassilon, he hated domestics. But as his eyes looked up at the door with the intricate rose carving, he wondered if maybe domestics with Rose wouldn’t be so bad.

_If he could just get this right._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I hope everyone enjoys it. I may not be able to update until two weeks from now, which i apologize for with the most sincerity. My schedule for the next two weeks looks like someone pepper-shot it, and I cannot guarantee I will have time. Enjoy, and as always, I greatly appreciate any comments you may leave me.   
> Thank you DocDonna for your comments and I am very glad you are enjoying this story. It warms my heart that you're enjoying it.   
> Thank you to GroovyKat for your vote of confidence. I wish I could take credit for purposefully choosing this topic, but that belongs to the plot puppy who has been running through my head with this one and gnawing on my mind until I write out the chapters.

 

* * *

 

The TARDIS landed with a bit more of a jar than normal, forcing the Doctor to flail his arms in order to keep his balance, but he only gave a sour look to the coral struts, not uttering a word. He was going to let the TARDIS be petty, the jolting was preferred to the electric shocks at this moment. As undignified as arm flailing was, it was better than burnt fingertips.

Rose emerged in clean clothing with her rucksack on her back, her blond hair still damp from her shower, and the scent of leather replaced with the floral scent of the shampoo she had bought on one of their trips of an alien bazaar. The Doctor didn't let his thoughts dwell on the loss of the scent, nope, he was going to focus on making this right…somehow. Then maybe she would wear his jacket voluntarily. _Bad thoughts,_ he argued with himself.

"Powell Estate, a week after our last visit," he announced, his voice trying for chipper like he usually would be, but they both could tell it fell short of the mark. He was trying hard not to panic at the sight of her rucksack, because all of her clothes could fit in there as well as her collection of trinkets and photos. He wanted to ask, but the sad look in her eyes stopped the words dead in his throat.

"Goin' ta spend a few nights away Doctor," Rose said with some bravo, he could see the start of tears in her eyes and the slight quiver at the edge of her words. The TARDIS was her home, and him being here was driving her away from it. He wanted to hold her, to tell her it was ok. She had stared down a Dalek, one of the coldest creatures in all of existence, what was his threat to her possible death?

_Something so much worse it seemed._

"Right," the Doctor said, as he walked up close to her, careful to keep some distance between them when he saw her flinch away from is approach. "Want Jack to walk you to your mum's?"

"Jack can come up whenever he wants," Rose said. She answered the unspoken question: right now the Doctor was not welcome. The little bit of cheeriness he had managed to scrape together for her benefit left him and he felt deflated.

"Right," he said again, his voice lacking any of his usual peppiness. "The TARDIS needs some work, so I'll just stay here." The Doctor turned away, walking back up the ramp and away from Rose. "Will take a few days," the Doctor tried to sound normal, really he did. It wasn't his fault he wasn't really succeeding. "May have to pop over to Cardiff afterwards," he turned, his blue eyes settling on her hard brown ones. "Won't enter the Vortex though, in case…" _in case I get pulled away and can't make it back for you._

Rose just nodded, and the Doctor wasn't sure if she understood. A few days in one spot willingly, he'd never done that for anyone before except Susan. _But she couldn't know that_ , he reminded himself. He was trying to give her the space she needed, and he could only hope she would pick up on that.

Without another word, Rose slipped out the TARDIS doors and off to her mum's. He walked quickly to the doors, opening them so he could watch her walk out of the TARDIS's usual parking spot in the alley near Powel Estate and away from him.

His hearts ached horribly in his chest, causing him to rub his chest absently to try and relieve some of the discomfort. He felt lower than scum and it hurt so much worse than he could have guessed, watching her walk away. What had he gotten himself into this time?

There was the subtle whisper of the air changing across the back of his neck, and when the Doctor turned from the empty alleyway, the rooms were back. The Doctor sighed, at least he was allowed access to his ship once more. It was a start, he guessed, as he wandered into the ship, needing to restock his pockets with bits of wire and electronics and needing a banana to hopefully clear his thoughts. Maybe there was some of that banana flavored tea left that Rose had found on their last trip to the bazaar?

* * *

 

Rose didn't head straight for her mum's once she turned the corner of the brick wall. Once out of the sight of the TARDIS, she pulled her mobile from her pocket, checking the date to make sure she was in fact when the Doctor said she was. Wouldn't be the first time he had got the date wrong, and she didn't want to be surprised like that again. But the mobile displayed the date, exactly one week from the last time she had visited her mum.

_It's something,_ Rose thought with a touch of sarcasm. Her head was throbbing, and the futuristic aspirin she had taken before she left hadn't quite kicked in fully yet. She needed a good cup of tea and maybe some of her mother's company to try and give her some illusion of normalcy. Maybe if she plastered on a fake smile and claimed her hormones shifting, she could get away with the lingering redness on her face. No doubt her mother could see through the lie, but Rose could hope. She didn't want to admit what was really wrong to her mother, not yet at least.

_I won't let it happen a second time,_ Rose promised herself. _Not even for the Doctor or the promise of traveling the stars._ Rose felt her eyes watering again, and she dashed the offensive tears out of her eyes. _I am worth more than that._

With a deep breath, Rose gathered herself and started the short walk back to her mum's flat, trying to put a bounce in her step and get her lips to form a somewhat believable smile on her face. By the time she finished jogging up the stairs, she felt her false smile was firmly in place, and the aspirin was starting to kick in. With any luck, it would take some of the puffiness off of her face as well as diminishing her headache.

"Mum!" Rose called as she opened the door, looking about for the signature blond hair and tracksuit that her mum loved to dress in.

"In the kitchen!" Jackie called back, waving her hand in the little window in case Rose missed her mum's high pitched voice calling out. When Jackie raised her voice, you couldn't help but hear it.

Rose could hear her mum on the phone, starting to make the excuse that Rose was home for a spell and she needed to go. She set her rucksack down on the ground and walked into the tiny kitchen just as Jackie hung up on whomever she had been talking to.

Jackie's eyes took one look at Rose, and Rose knew it had been useless to try and fake a smile for her mum. The older Tyler's eyes narrowed and her hands went to her blue track suit hips, making Rose feel like she was at least a foot shorter than her mother at the moment, rather than near the same height.

"What has that daft git done now?"

* * *

 

There was plenty of work to be done on the TARDIS, the Doctor had not lied about that. There was a list as long as his arm of all of the things that needed tuning, general maintenance, jiggery pokery, and the like, but he had no plans to actually do any of it. He was nervous and unfocused, which was not a good time to make a try at the list of things he should be doing with his downtime.

The Doctor had not seen Jack since he disappeared off to bed, and he wasn't sure if that should be a cause for concern or celebration. Jack had stated this mess was the Doctor's and he would find no ally in the ex-Time Agent.

So, in the beginning of his self-grounding period, the Doctor wandered the halls of the TARDIS, not sure what to do with himself. He needed to think, to try and recall all he knew about Rose Tyler and human culture to find a solution. Were he honest with himself, which was not likely to happen, he was searching for inspiration from the familiar coral halls and the sound of his heavy work boots thumping on the grating beneath his feet.

Humans often gave gifts as a form of apology and affection, he recalled Ian having given Barbra flowers when she was mad at him, and trinkets he found when he was not in her bad graces. But flowers seemed so silly in comparison the vast wonders that he could take Rose to, to watch stars being born, to ride Plasma Storms on the TARDIS with the doors thrown open to see space passing them by. Besides, he would have to settle for some common twenty-first century Earth flower since he no longer had time and space at his disposal while he was grounded.

And what would he get her? Her namesake? She detested roses, claiming they were the go-to flower and no doubt Mickey the Idiot had given them to her thinking that she would like them. Rose was special, had stared down danger and walked away with laughter and the tongue in cheek smile that sent his hearts racing. What common flower could possibly be worthy of his Rose?

_Think!_ The Doctor commanded himself as he stomped down the halls, almost wishing for the long curly hair of his fourth self rather than his close cropped dark hair so that he could tug on it in frustration. He went down the list of flowers he knew grew on this planet, and finding each one lacking. None were special enough for Rose, and certainly some common flower would not dissuade her from her rightful anger at him.

His thoughts strayed to some of the most exotic blossoms he knew grew out amongst the universe, compiling a mental list of ones he wanted to show Rose once she was willing to travel with him once more. There was one he desperately wanted to show her, one he knew she would love the moment her beautiful amber eyes settled upon the dark petals, but he could never take her to see. _Gallifrey may have been known for the Time Lords, but it birthed the most beautiful plants_ , the Doctor thought darkly. There was no way she could ever see the silver leaves, watch as the landscape lit up with the sunset to look like it was on fire as the wind stirred the ground.

Without bidding, the memory of watching the silvery leaves of the Gallifreyan trees truly burn, the black smoke rising up and the trees withered in the onslaught, and he wondered why he ever thought that they could look like an ocean of fire before the Time War. All gone in a moment's decision, one he had never wanted to make. No way he could ever show Rose the flower he so despirately wanted to.

There was a whisper in his mind, the TARDIS picking up on his thoughts as she stirred in his mind. He could feel her laughter in his thoughts, the sound both irritating him and soothing the nerves that were frayed from the silence. She knew how much it punished him when she withdrew from him, the silence in his mind without the TARDIS at least being present enough to drive him spare.

The air shifted again, further down the way, and the light over a set of doors shifted frequencies to stand out against the others. He tilted his head and walked forward, staring at two doors on either side of him, trying to remember what lay behind either door. The TARDIS seemed to enjoy his lack of memory, her laughter ringing louder in his head, and he felt like a fool for not knowing. Just under nine hundred years with the same ship and he couldn't recall what lay in every room of his lovely ship.

_At least there's some adventure to be found at the moment_ , the Doctor thought as he took the door to his left. The door opened to a drier environment than the hallway, the burnt orange dirt under his feet swirling as he stepped forward. The sky was deep red, the kind that haunted his dreams every time he closed his eyes and made him homesick in an instant. He remembered this room, and he tried to step back, his eyes watering as he turned to flee to safety.

How could he have forgotten this little piece of Gallifrey had been tucked away in his ship? Why had she even bothered to maintain it, when she knew seeing it would tear the Doctor apart worse than the nightmares of watching it burn? He was going to jettison this room as soon as he could get to the control room, keeping it was beyond acceptable.

As soon as he turned, something caught his eye on the rocky mountain in the distance, and he stopped. He wanted nothing more than to leave the room, to jettison the room and forget it had ever been a part of his ship like the zero room. But the dark smattering staring up at the vibrant sky made him pause. Could he swim through the memories of his burning planet to get to the mountain, brush away the agony of seeing a piece of his homeland, just for Rose?

It was the thought of Rose's hopeful reaction that propelled the Doctor slowly forward, each step swirling the dirt and stirring both good and bad memories as the familiar scent wafted to his nose. _Easy, this is,_ he lied to himself as he ignored the tears slowly starting to form in his eyes as shadows pulled at his mind. But he was on a mission, and he wasn't willing to be dissuaded.

* * *

 

Rose ignored her mother's silent questions, not willing to give her an answer beyond what she had already said.

_Last trip was bad, yeah? Just need some grounding 'nd I'll be right as rain,_ Rose had said. It was mostly a lie, the only truth being the trip bit. Rose knew Jackie was suspicious, and it was one of the few times that she was probably right in her thinking. Rose wasn't going to defend the Doctor on this one, but she wasn't willing to offer up the Doctor to her mother either.

Deep down, Rose knew why the Doctor had pushed for her to open up. She had used his own tactic of hiding the pain, not wanting to relive the memories that came with both the trip and her past, but she was nowhere near as good at lying as the Doctor was. Her subconscious couldn't help but dust off the old nightmares and add new bits in to make them worse.

He was worried about her, she knew this deep down. He wanted her to talk, to share what it was that had bothered her so bad, but to share it felt like it would give it power over her once more, and she had worked so hard to make sure her past would never have sway over her again. And pushing her like had had not been the answer to getting her to open up. She needed time to heal before she could explain it all to the Doctor. He would understand then, but forcing her to open up would just leave her much more raw than she already was.

He had shared a bit of himself in the console room, Rose could see that through the anger and hurt she was feeling. It was an important part. Telepathic people, the Doctor had said. She knew about the telepathy bit, wasn't terribly hard to figure out, which was why she guessed he always dressed to cover up as much skin as possible. _Course that bit could just be from watchin' too many sci-fi movie,_ Rose thought before shrugging off the thought.

The whisper bit was new. Not in her wildest fantasies would she have thought that possible for an entire species, though the adaptation makes sense. _Was comforting, a way to remind us we were never alone as we traveled out across the stars and time,_ he had said. And she had seen him so alone since she had come aboard the TARDIS. She had seen what just one Dalek had done to the Doctor, how bad he had fractured when he was holding the gun and looked upon the creature with insane murder in his eyes.

She understood feeling so broken that the idea of living every day was enough to contemplate suicide, having been there once before. To see the truth laid out and watching it cut far deeper than any knife could ever touch, she held the scars from such an encounter. But it was no excuse for the Doctor threaten to enter her mind without her permission. _Telepathic rape,_ her mind supplied as she pulled out her red jacket from inside the rucksack.

The traveling was not worth the little piece of herself that she had managed to put back together in the short time since Jimmy Stone.

Jack had come to her rescue earlier in the afternoon, keeping her mother busy with the flirtation and regaling the stories of his adventures across time and space. Jackie wasn't sold on him being any better than the Doctor, but she was warming up to the captain whereas she was still cold to the Doctor, and would no doubt get colder if she ever found out about what the Doctor had threatened.

Rose climbed the stairs until she was up on the roof of the Powell Estate, staring out at the roof to make sure she was alone up here, before she turned her gaze heavenward. Up as high as she was, she wasn't above the light pollution and the stars seemed so dim in comparison to what she had seen in the last eight months. Yet, despite the view no longer holding as much wonder as it used to for her, it kept her from going spare from the panic at the thought of being stuck here once more. Linear time no longer held any appeal to Rose Tyler.

_But it's not worth the price_ , she had to wipe a tear away from her face as she reminded herself of the fact. And if the Doctor could threaten her with telepathic rape, he was capable of so much more. She _knew_ he was capable of so much more, and she had chosen to turn a blind eye to it. This time, the ugly truth was glaring back her and she had no choice but to decide what her next step was.

When Rose shifted on her feet, her eyes turning to a different spot in the sky in hopes that it would have answers, a twinkle caught her eye. On the edge of the roof, sitting in plain sight in a plain red clay pot no bigger than Rose's hand, was a flower. While the red pot was unremarkable, the flower itself was something Rose didn't doubt came from the Doctor.

The underside of the petals were inky black as they were drawn up like a typical Earth rose, the stem of the flower a dark shade of green with three intricately swirled leaves sprouting from the stem. What had caught Rose's eye was the little silver veins running along the underside of the flower that seemed to pulse weakly with light. On the bed of red soil holding the flower was a small white card, the Doctor's rough scrawl easy to make out, even in the lack of proper light.

_Wait for it,_ was all the note said, and Rose stared at the vague message perplexingly. Wait? Wait for what?

Then the flower seemed to shutter just a little, and Rose dropped the card as she startled. The leaves turned up towards the starlight, and the blossom twisted skyward as well, the petals slowly unfolding as it did so. The breath Rose had been holding let out in a whoosh as the petals spread, revealing the magnificence of the flower before her.

The tiny veins she had seen on the underside of the petals were invisible on the petals, only small spots of silver that pulsed brightly like the stars overhead could be seen. The flower reminded her of a rose, the petals more numerous and larger than any flower she had ever seen, and the center glowed with a silvery white light like she had seen on a full moon. The dark leaves shimmered, shaking visibly so that the flower's light reflected off of the leaves to add to the wonder.

It was the most breathtaking thing Rose had ever seen, the amazement of the flower drawing her in so that she could do nothing but reach out and cup the flower carefully, leaning down to see what the flower would smell like. As she inhaled, Rose couldn't help but not be disappointed, the blossom smelling as sweet as a field of grass after a rainstorm with a whisper of what Rose could only imagine starlight would smell like. She couldn't help the giggle that escape at that thought, but there was no other way to describe it. It made her think of the stars, and not just from the sight of the beautiful blossom.

Rose had no concept of how long she stood out under the stars, watching her very own show of twinkling starlight from the blossom, before the leaves slowly turned inward from the stars, and the blossom drew back upon itself until it was shut tight once more. With great care, she picked up the pot, and slowly made her way back to Jackie's apartment, making sure not to jostle the beautiful flower any more than she had to, in case it was as delicate as it was beautiful.

Jackie's voice didn't startle Rose as she carefully cleared a spot for the new bloom in the windowed area of her mother's apartment, wishing the window in her room was big enough to keep the flower in.

"Wha's that?" Jackie asked her daughter, noticing the first real smile to grace her daughter's lips since she walked through the door that morning.

Rose didn't answer her, her focus completely on making sure the gift was in a well-lit area for morning and that there was nothing around to knock into the pot.

Jack came out of the kitchen where he had been before. His gaze landed on Rose and then her little flower. He gave a low whistle of appreciation, which drew both Tylers' attention to him.

"Big guns is what that is. That's a Star Bloom, and they were very rare before they went extinct." Jack said, his eyes drinking in the flower he had only ever seen pictures of as a child. To own one was a sign of great wealth and favor from a Time Lord. A great amount of significance was attached to that flower, for it was said to be a bit of the sky that fell to Gallifrey before there were Time Lords to fill the sky.

The way Rose was smiling at the little flower was well worth whatever the Doctor had done to obtain the little thing. Jack had to tip his hat at the Time Lord, he had started off on the right foot for a change.

A rare beauty for a truly rare beauty.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being so patient as life tried to tackle me. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Ten points if you can point out the references I've hidden.
> 
> I have not seen any of the classic Doctor Who except some of the highlights that had been on Netflix. Horrible I know, but one of these days, I will be able to correct that. That's why details are a little sketchy, and really I know so little that I figured I wouldn't do the characters justice by guessing from what is on the internet.
> 
> As always, comments are much loved, and I thank everyone who has read my story. You are all the true heroes here. 

 

The Doctor had been loathed to leave the rooftop without seeing Rose's reaction to the Star Flower he had left for her up on the roof, but he was treading a fine line of doing exactly as Rose asked while trying to make amends with her. He had wanted so much to see the look of pure awe as the petals of the delicate Gallifreyan flower opened up for its nightly show. Being as brilliant as he was, he had calculated based on the data that he had on hand (which wasn't as much as the Doctor would have hoped, but he would make do with) that the chances of Rose enjoying the flower was eighty-seven point three percent.

Now, ever since the Doctor's last regeneration, he had a terrible habit for always assuming the worst, estimating and planning on the worst scenario coming true. It was part of what he had to endure with the Time War. Even now, as the Doctor kept his head buried under the TARDIS console with his sonic screwdriver in hand, his mind was whispering that the twelve point seven percent was going to win out over the bit of hope the Doctor was desperately clinging to. And he had to cling to it with everything that he was, because he refused to let the memories of loss gain one more.

The doors to the TARDIS opened, and the Doctor's hearts raced momentarily before the heavier steps of boots and the musky scent of Jack Harkness drifted towards the Doctor. His hearts plummeted a bit, but the Doctor was going to hope. He desperately needed the hope.

_Jack must be inna chatty mood,_ the Doctor reflected as he listened to the footsteps approach the Doctor's splayed body. _Maybe he has news?_

The Doctor looked up just as Jack squatted down near the Doctor's left shoulder. Jack seemed mildly amused as he appraised the Time Lord. "Didn't think ya hand it in ya Doc," Jack said with his trademark smile. "Course, shoulda realized you woulda stashed one somewhere in here."

The Doctor looked down as he felt the tips of his ears burn and his heart flutter. "Not seeking your approval here Jack," the Doctor replied gruffly. He winced at his words, knowing to alienate himself from the only person even remotely on his side at the moment wasn't the smartest move for him. The TARDIS whispered in his head, scolding him in thinking Jack was the only one who was on the Doctor's side now, which left the Doctor sighing. At least she was speaking to him again, even if it was to scold.

"Right ya are," Jack said, shrugging off the Doctor's comment like he did so often when the Doctor's gruffness got in the way of a conversation. "But Rosie's currently fawning all over that Star Flower ya gave 'er." Jack wiggled his eyebrows in amusement as the Doctor sat up fast, not even remembering he was currently under the console, smacking the front of his head on something that was no doubt important by the shriek of outrage coming from the Time Ship herself.

Trying very hard to keep his snickering to himself as a shower of sparks bathed the Time Lord, Jack moved so that the swearing Time Lord could wiggle his larger frame out of the console and stand before the ex-Time Agent. "Oi! 's not like I meant to!" the Doctor shouted over his shoulder to the Time Rotor as he moved to grab Jack by the shoulders. "She liked it?"

Jack allowed himself to laugh as excitement lit up the features that had seen far too much pain lately. " "'Liked' may be an understatement there Doc," Jack said.

His hearts leapt in his chest and the Doctor couldn't contain his excitement. He turned and allowed himself to make an exclamation of excitement. This was as exciting as an adventure where everybody lived! He wanted to grab Rose and twirl her around the console room in pure delight. Hell, he didn't have Rose, but he could make do.

Without so much as a hint of what the Doctor planned to do, he grabbed ahold of Jack's hand and started twirling around the console room with the captain, not as intimately as he had ever with Rose, but in pure excitement. His plan had worked! The trek across his dead planet and the pain from the surfaced memories had been worth it!

Jack had never been voluntarily touched by the Doctor, the Time Lord making sure to keep space enough between them that their bodies didn't even accidentally brush one another. So, to be grabbed and pulled along into a haphazard dance of excited twirls, Jack was understandably unbalanced for a moment before he recovered himself. He let himself be led around the console room for one round, letting the Doctor burn off some of his excess energy before he felt he had to comment. It was Jack's way of being polite.

"Careful there Doc, you'll encourage me," Jack said in his best throaty voice, his heart not really into it even if other parts of him were trying to disagree. While Jack did find the Doctor attractive, and even the ex-Time Agent would admit his idea of beauty was rather broad, his attraction to him was nothing to what Rose held for the daft alien. Jack was not going to poach on this relationship, no sir. If Rose ever thought that his flirtations were serious, Jack was quite sure she would drop him on his ear on a planet with strict prudish laws. She would be back eventually, but she knew where to hit to get the point across.

The Doctor let go of Jack suddenly, seeming to realize that this was making Jack uncomfortable, and he was going to acknowledge the emotional aspect of that only! The TARDIS was bubbling in his mind, the usual hum of the room going up in pitch to make her pleasure known. Jack smiled at the two of them. The Doctor had made a wonderful start, but Jack wasn't here for social politeness.

"It's a great start Doc," Jack said, but his tone wasn't as enthusiastic as the Doctor wanted. The Doctor turned his blue eyes to Jack and noted the man's hesitancy.

"It's not enough," the Doctor acknowledged with a nod to his head. He wasn't surprised at that, never expecting it to be. He had been a monster and no small amount of energy was going to fix that.

"No," Jack agreed. "She's not willing to come back yet."

The Doctor didn't let Jack's words affect him, not yet. It was his first attempt, he knew he needed to do more. He needed to prove his sincerity to her, not just a passing phase. He had had his head buried under the console to work on one of his ideas, but it needed a lot of work.

"Not done proving myself Jack," The Doctor said as he moved to lay back down and get back to work.

"Jackie wants to see ya," Jack dropped the bomb, watching the Time Lord's shoulders tense up. Jack could almost hear the whistling in the air before the bomb detonated in the Doctor's head.

"When?" was all the Doctor said. Jack should have laughed at the tiny quiver in the alien's voice, it truly was funny how terrified he was of the older Tyler, but he bit his lip to stop any smile that may be trying to break across his face.

"This evening. I've been directed to take Rosie out for a spell." Jack squatted down and patted the Time Lord's upper arm. "Be strong there, Doc."

_Be strong,_ Jack had told the Doctor before leaving the TARDIS, saying he had snuck off to warn the Doctor in person rather than leave him to his fate. The Doctor was going to buy the captain a bottle of the best hypervodka for giving him the warning rather than let it be the surprise Jackie wanted.

How much Jackie knew, he wasn't sure. He was relatively confident (seventy-two point eight percent) that Rose had not mentioned what he had done since the older Tyler woman had not come barging into his ship with the full force of her wrath aimed at him. Then again, she could have been left to stew in her anger to leave him sweating.

And truth be told, he had forgotten about Jackie in his search for a way to start getting back into Rose's good graces. How the threat of the Tyler Slap had slipped his mind, he blamed on the current amount of trauma this body had had to endure in the last forty-eight hours. Time Lords were durable and superior, but this was pushing the limits! He didn't want to regenerate until _after_ he had had a chance to warn Rose, not leave it as a surprise.

Oh he had it bad when he was considering Rose's comfort rather than keeping that dirty little trick secret.

He wasn't even sure she would take to regeneration all that well even if she did know ahead of time. It was a gamble, an imperfect system but still better to cheat death. He was no looker now, not with the goofy nose and big ears, but his next one could be worse. It could be unattractive to Rose.

Or a pretty boy.

The Doctor shuddered at the thought of being a flouncy as some of the boys they had seen on their adventures. No, he was fine with his face, and planned to keep it as long as he could. May not be the handsomest he had ever had, but it suited him well. _Then again, Rose could be more attracted to the next body._

Well, there's some hope.

The Doctor had worked hard under the console, apologizing to the TARDIS every so often for allowing parts of her to fall into such disrepair. And it was in very bad disrepair. He honestly couldn't remember when this bit of circuitry had fallen out of repair. Hell, he couldn't even remember using this bit of tech on the TARDIS, which was such a waste of his beautiful ship.

Eventually he extracted himself from under the console and began getting ready to receive Jackie, knowing he would need to make sure his armor was in place for the woman. He had cleaned up, a dark grey jumper with his customary black jeans and black work boots, made sure he was presentable for the inevitable. His leather jacket was still on the jumpseat where he had left it, not feeling like he should wear it since it still smelled of Rose.

The TARDIS had been at work as well, pulling out a small table from somewhere and leaving a stack of dishes and a hot pot of tea waiting. The Doctor only had a moment to question the wisdom of his ship before moving to set the tea table, catching a whiff of the last of his banana blend tea in the pot.

The knock at the TARDIS door shook the Doctor's resolve a bit before he could catch himself. _Staring down Dalek's seemed far more pleasant at the moment_ , he thought miserably before he opened the door. He wasn't doing this for Rose, he reminded himself as his piercing blue eyes landed on the Tyler brown eyes of Jackie.

She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed and the seventy-two percent certainty he had seemed to be slipping down to single digits with the fury written in her eyes. He wanted to back down to this domestics, but he hardened his resolve.

"Tea Jackie?" the Doctor asked as he stepped out of the way for her to come inside. Jackie glared at him, seeming to weigh her options before she stepped inside his ship. She didn't look about as if she was impressed, made no comment on the interior like he had come to expect. Then again, Rose had no doubt told Jackie all about his ship, and had probably showed her pictures.

The Doctor waited patiently for Jackie to start in on him, letting her sharpen her teeth as he poured her a cup of tea then himself. He would do this civil like, without being rude and not ginger. It might very well blow up in his face, as his plans often did, but he was going to _try._

Jackie seemed to remember her manners and plopped herself into the chair opposite of the Doctor. She accepted the cup and set it down in front of her untouched. "What did ya do ya daft alien?" Jackie snapped finally.

_So it begins._ "I've lived nine hundred years, Jackie. Have to be more specific," he said before taking a sip of his tea. _And there goes not being rude right into a black hole,_ the Doctor winced. The older Tyler woman's eyes darkened before he could fix his mistake. "What has Rose told you?"

Jackie's voice raised a pitch. "'Last adventure was bad, yeah? Just need some time ta feel grounded.' All she would say on the subject and not even Jack will talk about it."

The Doctor set his tea cup down as he swirled the spoon around in it, trying to see the words he needs in the depths of his tea. "Jack's not privy ta the details. Wasn't with us on the last adventure. Just popped in ta pick him up when it all went pear shaped."

"Then what happened to my daughter?" Jackie asked as calmly as she could.

"Drink your tea Jackie. Should never turn down tea if it's offered to you. It's impolite and that's how wars start," The Doctor reminded her of her teacup in front of her as he set his own down and wove his fingers in front of his cup.

The Doctor knew Jackie was going to make a smart comment about where he could shove his tea, just as he would have expected Rose to do, but he held up a finger to ask for silence. And to his amazement, Jackie shut her mouth and picked up the teacup and took a sip.

"Done lots 'a things I'm not proud of, things only I can recall now." The Doctor started and he kept his eyes on his entwined fingers on the table. Guilt was washing over him, bombarding him with the list of things he had done. "There's two events in the entirety of my life that I regret and am the sole cause of. The Time War, and adding to Rose's pain.

"Last adventure went bad, real pear shaped as they come. Scared Rose bad. She was havin' nightmares, and it has ta do with a Jiimmy Stone." Looking up from his rough hands, the Doctor could see Jackie's face blanch at the mention of the name. "I made 'em worse and I need ta know what happened so I can fix this. I bolloxed it up, and I need ta fix it."

The Doctor could see Jackie's anger building back up, was certain this was the point he would get hot tea tossed into his face. But again, Jackie surprised him.

"Don't know all the details, she never talked ta anyone. I tried to get her help, but Rose is stubborn, and he did a number on 'er. Wasn't the same Rose that came back through my door that had slammed it as she left. He broke something in her." Jackie glared darkly at the Doctor and he had the good graces to look ashamed. "And you finished breakin' 'er."

"Oi! Wasn't tryin' ta hurt her! Wanted to know what was wrong 's all." The Doctor growled at her, the beginnings of the Oncoming Storm stirring in him.

"You can't even keep 'er safe! What makes you so superior?!" Jackie shouted back, both raising to their feet to glare across the table in a battle of wills. The Oncoming Storm clashed against the fury of Jackie Tyler, and only Rassilon would know what would have happened a moment later had the TARDIS not let off a shrill alarm at that moment.

Both parties jumped and the Doctor looked about in alarm before the TARDIS chided him mentally for his actions. He sat back down and swallowed what was in his teacup, barely tasting the tea as he tried to regain his composure. _Behave,_ she reminded him. And he was trying, Jackie wasn't making it easy. He didn't need reminding of his failure.

"I'm trying Jackie, honest to Rassilon I am," The Doctor said with all sincerity. Jackie huffed and the Doctor pulled what little patience he had to not shout. "Rose means a great deal to me Jackie. I just want to help her."

"Then leave in your bloody ship and don't look back," Jackie spat. She rose to her feet and stormed towards the door.

"I won't leave 'er Jackie," The Doctor spoke with conviction as he stood to face Jackie Tyler down. "The death toll from a single Dalek couldn't make me give 'er up. If she wants me ta leave, then I'll go, but I can't let 'er go. I…" Words failed the Doctor as he watched Jackie stare open mouthed at him. Even he wasn't sure what he was going to say.

"You're mad," Jackie said finally as she looked into the ancient eyes pleading with her to understand. And he most certainly was mad, wisking her daughter away to dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, to leave her coming back broken and unwilling to talk.

But hadn't she come back happy before, truly happy from their mad traveling through the universe? Rose had always wanted to get away from the Estate, to see more than just the little piece of the world that was her home. And Jackie had seen her grow, become more than Jackie had ever hoped she would be. She was confident, and the old Rose had been reappearing more and more.

And Jackie had to admit to herself, though she hated to be honest. Traveling with the Doctor had breathed life back into Rose where there was only routines and safety. She would never have been happy with the life Jackie had tried to set her on, Jackie thought sadly. She was going to crash and burn when reality took over once more, but maybe it was something Rose needed.

In that moment Jackie felt the weight of her years and just how jaded she had become from the life she had carved out for the two of them. Maybe Rose needed this, and no matter how much it hurt, Jackie could never deny her daughter something she truly needed.

"Jackie," the Doctor stepped forward, trying to get his point across to the elder Tyler, but it was a mistake.

Jackie pulled back and let loose. The Doctor's head snapped and his face stung fiercely from the Tyler Slap he hadn't seen coming.

"FOR RASSILON SAKE!" the Doctor shouted as he cradled the reddening side of his face, backing away in case she decided just one slap wasn't enough. He could outlast the Tyler woman if he had to dodge around the console room, that was one hundred percent certain, but being chased about in his ship was _not_ dignified for the last Time Lord.

Jackie pointed a finger at the Doctor. "That's for hurtin' 'her. And it'll be worse if ya do it again."

Jackie shook her hand out for a moment, waiting for the sting to pass. The lights overhead seemed to flicker and the Doctor growled at them as if there was something going on between the two Jackie wasn't privy to.

"Ya wanna know wha' I know? Then sit down ya big alien baby," Jackie said as she walked forward and took her seat once more. She was very surprised her tea was still hot, but Rose had said the ship was special like that, so she made no comment before reaching for a plate of cookies that hadn't been there before.

The Doctor looked like a wounded animal as he hesitantly came to sit down once more, his hand still rubbing the red cheek. It seemed like his cheek was already lightening up, but Jackie wasn't certain about that.

So Jackie started with what she knew, how Rose was before crossing paths with Jimmy Stone. Her Rose had been a little wild, any child would be growing up on the Estate, but Rose had more sense than most of the girls on the Estate. She may have gone out to drink and party at the age of sixteen, but she always made it to safety and never got into any more trouble than she could get herself out of. She watched her friends as they were out, and while they drank heavily, Rose made sure they all stumbled home together.

Then she met Jimmie at one of the clubs that Rose and her friends went to, and he had taken a shine to her immediately. Rose had fallen hard for the pretty boy guitarist who drank too much, and he had made all sorts of promises to her. Had her thoroughly convinced they were perfect together, and she needed to get away from Jackie so that they could tour together. Jackie saw less and less of Rose and the school called, saying Rose was missing too much school and her grades were slipping.

They had a row the week before her A-Level testing and Rose had stormed out, disappearing to wherever Jimmy kept her. Jackie had searched for weeks, trying to find her daughter, as had Mickey and Shareen, but like a puff of smoke, she was gone. Rose's phone was disconnected and Jackie nearly went mad from worry. (The Doctor now could understand her reaction to him when he had landed them in the wrong year, and he felt a bit more guilty for that hiccup in flight.)

Rose reappeared late one night, holding a small backpack of clothing and eight hundred quid in debt. She didn't say anything as Jackie shouted at her, just teared up as she asked if she could come home. Jackie couldn't say no, and helped Rose get a job at Henrik's even though she thought the butcher was better suited. Rose had sold most of the things she had left with, and Jackie never asked why. Jackie had seen bruises, the ones Rose tried very hard to keep hidden, and Jackie had suggested a therapist.

Rose went, though Jackie felt she was only doing it out of obligation. Two months and she had never opened up, so the therapist said it was a waste of their time if she wouldn't talk. She started dating Mickey shortly after and all Jackie saw was her trying to put together a life just like her own.

"I jus' wanted my little girl back," Jackie admitted in the end, staring down at her empty teacup like it held the answers she needed. "Wasn' willing ta push if she wasn' willin ta talk. Never had ta worry 'bout Mickey treatin' 'er bad, his gran raised 'im right." Jackie looked into the impossibly blue eyes of the Doctor, wondering if Rose knew of what was currently rising to the surface in them. "But maybe thinkin' that she was made for the same kinda life I 'ave was mad on my part."

Jackie sighed, the stood up. "How can I help?"

The Doctor smiled, "You already 'ave Jackie Tyler." He rose to his feet and escorted her to the door. Just before he opened the door, he swooped down to give the woman a hug, not near as warm or as tight as those for Rose, but it was the only form of affection that he knew she would understand.

Jackie looked startled when the Doctor stepped back, seeming as surprised as he had been when she slapped him. "Thank you Jackie."

Seeming to regain some of her composure, Jackie glared as best as she could in her still shocked state. "Don't think I approve of 'er runnin' out to who knows where," Jackie paused and her tone softened. "But if it's wha' Rose wants, then I can only tell ya ta keep 'er safe, ta?"

The Doctor nodded. His hearts swelled in his chest, even if his face still stung a touch. "I give ya my word as a Time Lord, I'll keep 'er as safe as I can."

Jackie huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. "Tha's all I ask."

"Will ya do somethin' for me Jackie?" The Doctor asked, walking over to the console where he had left the small plain box sitting there patiently waiting for attention. "Will ya put this on Rose's bed? Where she can' miss it?"

* * *

 

Rose had had fun with Jack, going down to the local club to scout out the population and have overall girl talk, which the ex-Time Agent was surprisingly good at. It was something that the two of them usually enjoyed doing when the Doctor wanted some peace and quiet to work on the TARDIS, but it wasn't nearly as fun as it usually was.

Rose was trying to forget the last week and a half, and while her anger at the Doctor was started to ebb away, she wasn't sold on continuing to travel with him. Jack could tell that she wasn't having as much fun as they normally did, but he did manage to get her to smile and laugh a little, though Rose was sure that may have been helped by the two hypervodka shots the captain had managed to slip into her drinks.

She didn't get thoroughly smashed like she was thinking she might, but it was probably for the best. Jack wasn't going to let her get pissed even if she had wanted to. He himself got a touch sloshed but made sure to get her home before she could decide inebriation was her goal for the night, claiming it wasn't good for her to get pissed while her head was in the place it was. He was right of course, and she had retreated home to allow Jack peace to try his luck in this century.

Jackie was in bed when Rose got home, it was one in the morning, but Rose couldn't help but check on her. Jackie had devoted all of her time yesterday and today to Rose, even forgoing the telephone grape vine she loved so much to try and get Rose to talk about her sudden visit. It was a testament to Jackie's love that she had told Beth no, she didn't want to hear about the latest bit of gossip, and told Howard she was staying in with her daughter.

It was a bit like it was when she had showed back up after the whirlwind that was Jimmy, and it was driving Rose a touch spare. She didn't want to compare the two, and maybe stopping in was a bad idea.

When Rose opened her door, her eyes noticed the new addition to her room. On her bed was a small plain box that hadn't been there before, and she knew right away it was from the Doctor. How he had gotten into her apartment, she could guess, and a part of her was mad that he had disregarded her wishes in favor of his. It may have been the alcohol in her system but she stomped over to her bed, grabbed the box and hurled it out of her room.

When it made a heavy thump on the floor, Rose remembered how delicate his last gift had been to her and she felt immediately ashamed. Hurrying to pick up the box, Rose was taken back a moment as she saw a worn leather journal sitting on the floor near the box. She picked it up, looking over the battered leather as if trying to figure out what it was before she undid the clasp on the front. She walked to the living room, sitting on the couch facing the window and her lovely flower, contemplating what could be on the pages.

Just before she reached for the clasp, the petals of her Star Flower fluttered and the show began, drawing her away from the little book in her hand. She watched her very own starlight, loosing herself in the memories of seeing different stars laid out before her, of walking side by side with the Doctor at Cardiff, seeing the sun getting ready to swallow Earth, of dancing around the console room.

Her gaze turned away from her flower as the petals twisted closed once more. The clasp was simple, though it took her a moment to realize it twisted to open and the designs on it were swirls much like the Doctor's handwriting.

Inside the first two pages the Doctor's rough scrawl was clear. _You are the first to see this. Maybe it will give you some insight._

On each page after were sketches, of constellations the Doctor had shown her on a map with such exquisite detail, of the console room as it was, and how it must have looked in the past. There were faces of strange men next to each console, and Rose couldn't puzzle out why they would be there, or why one needed a scarf so long and multicolored by the shades that it seemed impractical. Each had a number at the top of their page, eight not counting the drawing of the Doctor standing next to the familiar coral struts. Rose wondered why there was a nine on his page. Was he the ninth to own the TARDIS?

The Doctor's own swirled writing dotted each page, a few there, a string of them there, and the Doctor's gruff writing seemed to have been added later, because some of the drawings and writings seemed to be as old as the journal itself.

On the next page there was a breathtaking landscape of a world she had never seen. The Doctor was an artist with a piece of lead, and the drawings were so lifelike in their shades of grey, it took Rose's breath away. More than anything, she wanted to see the places that he had sketched in his journal, to see them in color and not just shades of grey. Each place had the name of it written somewhere on the page, some even having bits of trivia about the planet, or plants that grew there, or even some local lore about it.

Rose was so absorbed with the book that when she turned the page and found a woman's soft eyes staring back at her, she was momentarily taken aback. There was a description of the woman there with her name, Susan Foreman, the Doctor's granddaughter. Rose gasped as she stared at the young face, realizing she knew nothing about the Doctor. He had been married, had a family and even a granddaughter that had traveled with him in the beginning before leaving to marry a human. And now, she was just a memory to him.

Rose wanted to cry for the Doctor. He had lost all of the Time Lords in the Time War, friends and enemies alike. She hadn't thought to ask if he had lost a wife or children. She wanted to run and hug the Doctor, because if she had lost her mother like that, she would never be okay.

The next page held the face of a couple, Ian and Barbara Chesterton, who had been kidnapped by the Doctor while he had thought humans a savage backwards race. They had been the first to convince him of the virtues and potential of humans, and started him down his path to adopting Earth as his second home.

Pages went on like that, new faces with a small description wedged on the edges of the pages, vast worlds that took up two pages, even pictures of enemies he had encountered along his adventures. Rose even got to see the Cybermen in full terror from the pictures, not just an empty shell behind glass.

Then came the point of the Time War, the pictures darker in both tone and shades. Rose's breathing was shallow as she saw the memories of the Citadel, the glass dome shattered and Dalek's invading. Tears ran down her face as he drew the landscape burning, smoke rising from the picture. He drew faces then; ones he must have seen twisted by death before he ended the Time War.

Then he drew the same galaxy as he had in the beginning, but it wasn't as beautiful as the first drawing. The planet in the center, Gallifrey, showed the scars of the war and what the Doctor had been forced to do.

Rose cried as she turned the pages, seeing the nightmares that plagued the Doctor when he slept. Daleks exterminating life, faces of people who must have been important to the Doctor, and the constant sight of Gallifrey burning. It made Rose sick to realize this was what life was like to the Doctor, what was his reality.

Then there was a picture of herself, smiling up at Rose with her signature tongue in cheek smile that she reserved for the Doctor. There was another of her looking about the TARDIS in awe, seeming to stare right off of the pages. Another of her in the pretty green dress she had worn on Cardiff, smiling bashfully up at the Doctor. There was a picture of her looking both terrified and resolved as she stood next to the Dalek, and the words, _I couldn't lose you,_ written just below. _Millions would die, but I couldn't let you die._

Pictures followed, both of her on the different adventures that they had been on, different emotions written on her face, and of places he must have wanted to show her, for the landscapes were unfamiliar to her but she recognized her standing in them. His nightmares seemed to be lesser in between, but they were still present, and now seemed to incorporate her quite often. The last picture was of her dancing in his arms, the look of elation clear on her features as she smiled upwards. _The moment I treasure the most._

Rose shut and locked the journal, clutching it to her chest as she cried silently for her Doctor. What he had given up to win an impossible war, what scars traveled with him that he hid behind his sass and a lie of being perfectly fine. What he lost, he held onto in drawings and memories, and the toll was great.

In that moment Rose understood why the Doctor had been so worried about her, and she could see him justifying his actions out of fear. It was no excuse, he shouldn't have, but she began to think that maybe, just maybe, she would have done the same thing in his place.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks and swallowing back the hiccups that were trying to escape, Rose went back to her room to carefully tuck away the journal into the side pouch of her rucksack, safely away from prying eyes. Rose got down on her knees and shoved away the pile of clothing, old magazines, and a few discarded books until the hidden tear in her box spring was revealed. It took a moment of fishing, and Rose was afraid her mother may have found it, until her fingertips brushed the edge of the familiar journal and she sighed in relief.

The Doctor had shown her his own hell, opening up in a way she had only dreamed that he would. It was time she did the same. It was her outdated one, the secret one she had kept while she had been with Jimmy that held the details of her own personal hell, but it felt right to put it to use once more.

Rose snuck out of her mother's flat, the journal tucked under her arm safely as she made her way to the TARDIS. Even in the relative darkness of the alleyway, the TARDIS seemed to glow with ethereal energy, and Rose swore the top light seemed to wink at her in greeting. Rose patted the paneled door in affection, pressing her cheek to the warm wood in greeting before sliding her key home in the lock.

She was in and out in moments, her prize propped up on the console with the Doctor's name written on it with one of his sticky notes, before she was on her way back to her mother's flat once more. The sun's rays were just beginning to start changing the color of the sky when Rose laid her head down on her pink pillow and drifted off, dreaming of some of the beautiful landscapes the Doctor had shown her in his journal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short, and I'm sorry about this. I just got my green belt in my martial arts and have been tired. Here in the next few days should be the next chapter.

Sitting on the captain's seat, the Doctor looked about his magnificent ship, wondering what his next step is. Not one for a plan him, but this seemed like a situation that needed some shamble of an idea on how to proceed. The repairs were nearly complete, and all he had to do was go down into the depths of his ship for a few pieces to change out. After that, he knew how he wanted that bit of the plan to go. It was the pieces leading up to it that he hadn't quite worked out yet.

The thing was, he didn't want to bollocks this up any more. It needed to be a decent plan, even if he could only keep to it in part. Plans never seem to go as he likes them to, and he tended to go off script of his own plans anyways.

The Doctor knew how he thought someone outside of him should proceed, had watched several human romance movies to know what was expected of him. A romantic dinner, profusion of flowery words and promises he may not be able to keep, and she was supposed to fall into his arms and all would be well, if not forgiven. It was all a beautiful fantasy.

And a giant load of rubbish if the Doctor had ever seen one.

Taming a Slytheen seemed far more likely to happen than that load of rubbish, so here the Doctor sat, wondering what to do. He was on his own, which made this so much harder for him to figure out. He needed clever insight, a human's perspective, and the only person to give that, that he trusted anyways, was Rose, and she was still not speaking to him.

_Well_ , the Doctor thought as he scratched the back of his neck, _not exactly_. The journal still eyed him from its perch on the console, where he had not been willing to move it from. He could have read it, it had been left for him to read after all.

Yet, as he had touched the plain cover, he could feel the lingering pain etched onto the pages of the journal, his telepathic senses rubbed by the agony left in the book. He wanted no part of it, not even to help him understand Rose.

She could tell him when she was ready, or he could never know. It might drive him a touch more spare than he already is, not knowing the answer, but he felt he could live with that.

Tugging on his big ears, the Doctor reflected on what he knew. Rose had been in a lot of pain, so much that it broke her in ways the Doctor could only guess. Their last adventure had played into that pain. He had made it much worse by trying to figure out what was wrong.

And the damn answer was staring at him, and he was too much of a coward to even skim it.

No, not a coward, he told himself. Just not willing to learn about it by any other means than Rose telling him of her own free will.

Maybe, if she didn't want to talk about it, she could show it to him.

The Doctor stood up suddenly, snapping his fingers as an idea formed in his head. He had an outline of a plan, and it was a stretch, but it was something! His brain whirled with possibilities, ideas flying too fast at him for any other creature to process, except it was helping him come up with more ideas.

He needed to call Jack!

* * *

Jack was a giver, a big fan of helping out a friend, or an attractive person who might end up setting any morals aside to bed him.

He was _not_ a fan of mornings after a night of getting drunk, even on twenty-first century alcohol and hypervodka.

Lucky for the Doctor, as Jack could read the blurry letters declaring who was calling him at this unholy hour of the morning, the Doctor was both a friend, in need, and attractive, even if he had no intention of bedding the Time Lord.

"Whazzis?" Jack mumbled into the phone, his head killing him as sunlight poured into the bedroom of his latest partner. The woman, just snorted at him and rolled over, giving him a generous view that was doing wonders for the headache he currently had.

"Need your help Jack," the Doctor said rushed. Jack could hear some sort of clattering going on in the background, and it sounded suspiciously like hangers and clothing being rustled about.

"I take it you need help now rather than in a few hours when it is a decent time to be awake," Jack snorted into the phone.

"It's nearly nine in the morning Jack!" the Doctor snapped. "Could've called you two and an eighth hours ago when I ran into the bit where I needed your help."

Jack groaned. The gorgeous view was going to have to wait then. There was no putting off the Doctor when he was like this, especially since there was no Rose around to calm him down. "Whatcha need from me Doc?"

* * *

"Rosie," Jack called as he opened the Tyler front door, bearing a sack of pastries he had brought as a surprise to the Tyler women.

"In the kitchen!" Rose called from around the corner. Jack grinned as he shut the door and followed the smells of tea.

Jack looked over Rose, who was still in her jim jams and her hair was still sticking out at odd ends from sleep. He could see the change almost immediately, not that it wasn't obvious from the fact that she was smiling before her first cup of tea. "You're in much better spirits than last night," Jack commented.

Rose just smiled as she pulled out a second mug for tea and two plates for the pastries. "Slept good s' all," Rose said as she poured herself some tea. "Been a while since I could say tha'."

"Doc said he could hear the screamin', Rose," Jack said softly as he took a seat across from Rose. She pulled out a blueberry scone as her cheeks turned a bit pink. "You had 'im scared real bad."

"I know Jack," Rose said just as soft, her fork cutting up the scone for her to eat. "Wasn't his place ta worry though."

Jack reached across the table and placed his hand gently on Rose's own. "It wouldn't've been just him worryin' Rosie." Jack looked at her with concern written plainly in his eyes. "I've been worried about ya too, but I suspect not as bad as the Doc."

"'s nothing ya need ta worry about Jack," Rose said, finally stabbing the scone piece and putting it to her mouth.

"No," Jack said. "Both of us love you Rosie, in very different ways." Jack admitted. It was no secret between them that they loved each other as siblings, though they flirted just a bit for the fun aspect of it. Rose swallowed at the implications of what Jack was saying.

"Jack," Rose started, ready to go over the tired lines again.

Jack looked distracted though, as he pulled out a small little envelope from inside his coat pocket, and Rose's curiosity couldn't be quelled. He handed her the plain white envelope with her name scrawled across the front with the Doctor's familiar handwriting. "The Doctor sends this for you," Jack added as Rose opened the envelope.

Inside was a small card, no different from the one that had been with her Star Flower two nights ago. _Meet me at the TARDIS around six,_ was all it said. Very cryptic, and much like the Doctor.

"Jack," Rose said, her heart aching a bit. "I can't," she said by way of explanation.

"He's not askin' ya ta take off with 'im Rosie," Jack explained. He could see the bit of panic in her eyes. "Just to have dinner with 'im, free of expectations of pressure. And," Jack pulled out a piece of plastic, "ya get ta go shopping on the Doctor's charge card." Jack smiled mischievously as he waived the card about.

A bolt of anger shot through Rose at what was implied. "I will not be a kept woman Jack, and certainly not bribed with bobbles," she hissed at him.

Raising an eyebrow, Jack slid the card across the table. "No one said ya were Rose Tyler," Jack said solemnly. "Ya helped back in Downing Street remember? You're entitled to a sizable chunk of money. The Doctor is simply telling ya ta go buy some armor to face 'im tonight. It's your money, because the Doc would give ya every bit of it for wha' ya did at Downing Street."

Rose's cheeks burned as she was chastised for thinking such. She should've known better than to assume that. Jack would never have agreed to be the messenger had the Doctor insinuated such a thing. And the Doctor had argued away any guilt for her to going on a trip down to the shops.

"I'm sorry Jack," Rose said, reaching across the table to place her hand on Jack's. "I know ya would never think that way abou' me, or let anyone think that."

"Damn straight Rosie," Jack winked. "So whatcha say? Need some 'armor' to face the Doc tonight?"

Rose chewed on her lip, staring down at the charge card in thought. She had to face him at some point, and if he wasn't expecting anything, what could it hurt? "Could use a new pair of jeans," Rose admitted.

"That's the spirit Rosie!" Jack said enthusiastically. "Though I think ya would look killer in this skirt I saw in a little shop on the way 'ere."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end my dear whovian readers. I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have thinking this up. Have a fantastic time reading this, and if you can spot the quote from Terry Goodkind, I applaud you. Couldn't help but throw in one of my favorite quotes from my favorite author in here. And a nod to one of my other favorite fandoms.
> 
> Here is the chapter in which called for the M rating. it is in between the **'s if you cannot read unpleasantness. 

 

* * *

 

For a man who wore both suspenders and a belt at the same time, which Rose was entitled to think looked good on only Jack and a fictitious space cowboy from the tele, Jack had an impressive sense of style. He had been very right about the skirt he had seen in the store. It was a little snug as it reached her ankles, but it had a slit up one side to about mid-thigh that had given even Jack paused as she had tried it on.

It had taken a bit of coaxing from Jack to convince her to buy it, but only once she said she wouldn't be wearing it for tonight. _It's a waste of an outfit!_ Jack had tried to argue, but Rose wouldn't hear it. They had gone across the street until she found herself something she had considered acceptable to wear, and then spent the rest of the time chattering about the people that passed them by.

Jackie had not seemed very concerned when Rose and Jack returned with a few bags from their shopping trip, which surprised Rose a bit. Normally Jackie would have jumped on Rose, asking where she had gotten the money to afford more clothing then made some sort of comment about getting heirs and graces while she was off traveling. Not this time though. Jackie just kissed Rose on the cheek when she announced her intent for tonight, reminding her, "You are worth so much Rose, and I'm proud of you."

So, armed with a set of feminine armor, Rose had gotten ready to face down to the Doctor. And that was how she was going to think of their meeting. She wouldn't let herself be pushed back into a corner, not again.

She had dressed herself to feel better about herself as she wore a new set of jeans, a cute quarter length sleeve pink top, and the luxury of wearing a new pair of high heels (which, when you run for your life constantly, the chance to wear them was a treat). Her makeup was on point, which was minimal compared to what she usually wore, and her hair was let down for once. This was her armor, and no one could tear her down.

Even as she stared at the doors of the Doctor's ship, Rose didn't pause in apprehension for what was to come. She didn't think about what could happen after tonight, whether she would be sleeping back on the TARDIS or if she would be job hunting in the morning. Thinking beyond this point would just wear her down, and she wasn't going to let that happen right now.

Pushing the door open Rose entered the TARDIS, enjoying the sounds of her pleasant humming, and the smell of being home. Rose couldn't see the Doctor about, she was a few minutes early after all, so she walked up to the console. With careful fingers, Rose ran her fingertips along the console, avoiding any of the levers and switches, her mind wondering would this be the last time she got to do this. She paid no mind as she walked slowly around the console, taking in the sounds of the TARDIS, the feeling of her panels under her fingers, of the memories that teased the edge of her mind.

Then she noticed her journal, sitting in nearly the same spot in which she left it in the early hours of dawn. Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at it, sitting innocently on the console, the only thing missing is the sticky note she had placed on it the night before.

"Can't bring myself to read it," the Doctor said from behind her, causing Rose to start a bit. He had snuck up on her, and she had been so lost in thought she hadn't heard him approaching. Her eyes darted to him, her mouth getting ready to say something before she noticed the Doctor was dressed up.

_Well, as dressed up as the Doctor could ever be_ , Rose thought to herself.

He was wearing an oxford shirt, the same shade of maroon she had first met him in, tucked into his black pants and he was still wearing his heavy boots. He even had a tie on, a silvery little number that made Rose pause at the sight of. Rose had to raise an eyebrow at the tie, it just didn't seem like the Doctor.

"Too much?" the Doctor said, looking uneasy down at his outfit. Rose had to crack a smile at that, seeing him so uncomfortable.

"Tie's a bit much," Rose said. It looked good on him, but she could see he was far from comfortable.

"Right," the Doctor agreed before he loosened the Windsor knot and pulled it off, stuffing it into the pocket of his pants. "Seemed silly anyways. Who would run around with a noose around their neck every day anyways?" The Doctor tried to smile as he stayed back from her, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets.

Rose smiled at the Doctor. "Dunno, may look dashing on you," Rose teased, just to see the Doctor's look of apprehension.

"Oi! It'll clash with the leather," the Doctor retaliated, a split second before he noticed she was teasing him. "Not one to dress up me. Only for very special reasons," the Doctor said.

"And this is a special occasion?" Rose asked, her smile falling a bit.

The Doctor looked about for a moment before his eyes came back to rest on Rose. "Is for me," the Doctor said. "Have something to ask you Rose, something that won't cost you anything if you agree to it." The Doctor took a step forward, "Just hear me out?"

Rose crossed her arms across her chest, turning her shoulder towards him. Her stomach tightened in apprehension. "What is it?"

The Doctor flexed his fingers at his side, his fingertips running along the material of his pants. "I want to show you something, a one-way thing you see." His hand came up to touch his temple and Rose understood what he was trying to say. "Just a few moments of my life, with no chance of accessing your mind. I can't lie to you this way, you'll know if I am."

The Doctor spoke with honesty, Rose could see it in his eyes. She could see the hope in the swirling blue of his eyes, the fear of rejection from her. It broke her heart to see him looking so unlike the confident man she knew. Yet, she knew she had to do what was good for her too.

"How can I trust you Doctor?" Rose asked sadly. His words echoed in her head, a threat she never wanted to hear fall from his lips. "I don't think I can."

The Doctor took one step forward, slowly and hesitantly, letting her feel like she had the freedom to move. "Telepathic one, me. Need to touch your temples to have proper access to your mind. If you touch mine, I can forge a one-way link, temporarily of course. Just to show you something. You can pull away any time, no repercussions at all." He spoke quickly, almost without breath. He watched her, waiting for her reaction.

Rose looked at him, studying the Doctor like she wasn't sure this was a trap. He was being earnest, and every tick of the clock that passed in silence, the Doctor felt a piece of his hope die. Breathing became harder to do, and he could feel his hearts stuttering.

"If I ask you a question" Rose said hesitantly, "will you answer me, no side stepping, no misdirection, no lies?"

"Yes," the Doctor agreed, a little breathless from hope rushing back to him. "The link won't let me lie."

Rose unfolded her arms and took a step towards the Doctor, coming within reach of each other. "If you've lied to me Doctor, tricked me in any way, I'm gone." Rose stated, the heels she was wearing allowing her to stare directly into the Doctor's eyes. "You leave, and never bother me again."

"Yes Rose," the Doctor agreed, shoving his hands into his pockets and staying very still. "Just have to touch with two fingers, rest I'll do."

Rose nodded, her face blank as she reached forward. How many times had she thought of doing this, touching the Doctor in this very same manner? Not once had she ever thought it would be with hesitation and trepidation. Never had she believed it would be because she couldn't trust the Doctor.

Her fingers laid gently against his temples, her eyes locked with his own. Rose could feel an odd sensation, just on the edge of her awareness that pulled at her. It was like a tether, a line that she followed outside of herself and into the Doctor's mind.

It felt like she was floating in his essence, quiet an odd sensation for her. Then came the flashes of memories, of staring at herself from the Doctor's point of view. She looked ragged, the circles under her eyes too dark to hide with the concealer, and her presence just screamed 'haunted' to him. She could feel the worry, the gnawing sensation inside him that stabbed at his hearts every time he looked at her. She could feel the fear he was feeling, that something was horribly wrong with his Rose, and he couldn't fix it if he didn't know what was wrong. And he wanted to fix it, to make her smile once more and chase away the nightmares that were keeping her up.

She wouldn't talk to him about it, Rose couldn't hear what was being said but she remembered the conversation vividly. It was upsetting him that she wouldn't open up to him, and feeding the fear he felt inside. His desperation became her own, and his mind tried to find a way to make her talk. And he came to an idea that even he didn't want.

He snapped the threat, could feel his lips moving around the sounds that had in one moment shattered her trust in the Doctor.

The moment the words left his lips, he knew he never would've been able to violate her trust like that. It was a lie, a calculated lie in hopes she would talk, scream at him, do something so that he knew what he could do to help her. He just wanted to help her, to see her smile again like she had before being taken hostage, to bring her peace like she did him.

And he knew in the instant before her hand came up to slap him, he was a colossal idiot for even thinking saying such a thing was an option.

The memory faded, leaving Rose momentarily lost as she tried to get her bearings back. The Doctor's mind was gentle as he eased her back towards her own body, gently nudging her until she could follow the path back on her own.

Rose's eyes opened and immediately went to the Doctor's own. He was looking serious as ever, no real emotion written on his features but his eyes were filled with regret.

"Got mad after that," the Doctor admitted, his voice hoarse with guilt. "Don't know if you could hear me thunderin' about like a big oaf. Was mad you had slapped me Rose, was mad at myself for suggesting something so stupid, was mad my pride was wounded, mad that nothing had gone like I had hoped." The Doctor hung his head, looking down at the grating on the floor between the two of them. "I just wanted to fix things."

"Doctor," Rose said softly, her hands falling down to her sides. She could feel the echoes of the memory running through the Doctor's head, feel what shame and guilt he felt now for acting like he had. She needed to pull back, for her own good. The Doctor's hands came out of his pockets to hold onto Rose's hands gently, letting her feel like she could pull free at any time.

The Doctor looked up at Rose, his eyes looking panicked as he spoke. "I've got two hearts Rose, both of them belong to you. You came in and breathed life back into them when I thought for sure there was nothing left of them after the Time War. I would do anything to help you Rose, and probably mess it up doing so, but I would do it for you."

The Doctor was rambling, not quite sure how he managed to find such a gob on him all of a sudden. _Go me for making no sense at all,_ the Doctor sneered at himself.

The Doctor was so focused on how badly his mouth was running and how he wasn't making any sense, even to himself, that he didn't see the determination in Rose's eyes. Her hands came up and it came as a shock to him the moment his fingertips touched her temples, intertwined with her own to keep him trapped.

The rush was sudden, the memories assaulted him with her inexperienced touch. She was forcing him into the memories, not intentionally, he could feel that through the link. But she had no idea what she was doing, and the Doctor just gritted his teeth and let her take the lead.

*

He could see the dingy little flat, smell the cigarette smoke seeping from what little furniture was in the trashy flat. There were bottles of alcohol strewn about, beer and other cheap hard liquors. Rose was standing in the center of the room, looking about with sad eyes at what her life had become. Her feet hurt from working all day down at the small diner, her back and shoulders ached from the lifting and moving, and she was so tired.

She moved about, cleaning up the mess automatically, not really feeling anything. She worked to pay the bills, and had to clean up the apartment after him, that was her job according to Jimmy. Papers that were scattered about with crud drawings and lewd phrases she stuck in a pile, ignoring what they said because she just stopped caring to read them. She had learned long ago they really had nothing to do with writing music, unlike what Jimmy would have her believe.

She hadn't heard Jimmy sneak up on her until his arms were wrapped around her waist. Rose stiffened as she felt his arousal pressed into her backside and could smell the stink of liquor on his breath.

"No Jimmy, I'm too tired," Rose said, her voice much smaller than what the Doctor had come to expect from her.

A cruel hand snaked up to grab ahold of her breast in a nasty grip. "You don't say 'no' to me Rosie," Jimmy snapped drunkenly at her, causing her to drop the garbage bag she had in her hand. "Come on then Rosie," Jimmy started pulling her backwards, and Rose's insides seized in fear. No, not like this.

Rose clawed at Jimmy's hands, her feet lashing out as she tried to free herself. The only thought in her mind was 'no' and the Doctor was swimming in a tidal wave of fear at what was going to happen. Her fight or flight instincts had kicked in when she couldn't think and she fought like mad.

He held onto her tight though as he dragged her out of the room, back towards the bedroom that reeked of body odor, cigarettes, and stale alcohol. The Doctor wanted to fight, to help Rose out, to stop the memory, but Rose had no control and the Doctor couldn't wrestle his way free of her mind.

Jimmy threw Rose onto the bed, watching her bounce on the cheap mattress stuck in the corner of the room and hit the wall with her back. She cried out in pain as he descended on her, thinking she would be easier now that she was in pain.

But this was Rose Tyler, and in a flash of desperation and determination that she would _not_ be Jimmy's victim anymore, she lashed out despite the pain. Her movements were blurry, and her hand had been in a tightly held fist, but the aching was worth it after she had punched him in his manhood. Jimmy rolled off of her, screaming obscenities at her that she hardly heard. Quick as she could, she scampered out of the room, dodging his hands that lashed out at her, and not looking back as she fled the apartment. _Good job Rose,_ the Doctor whispered to her as he felt her resolve set in.

_No more,_ Rose told herself as she fled to the park near where she had been living with Jimmy. _Never again._

The memory shifted, advanced to when she had moved back in with her mother's. The Doctor recognized the small space from having passed it while being in the Tyler residence. Rose was just staring into the mirror, no real thoughts in her mind as she looked on numbly. The Doctor couldn't see the warm spark in her brown eyes, the life in them that made him love Rose all the more. They were dead, staring without being alive, and the Doctor stopped breathing. He had never wanted to see her eyes so lifeless again.

Without regard for the Doctor being in her mind, Rose pulled her shirt over her head. Her breath hissed out and her left shoulder screamed at her, but she managed to get the dirty shirt off, leaving her in a bra. The Doctor's stomachs clenched hard and he worried he might be sick once more.

Her flesh was dotted with layers of bruises, some small enough to be fingerprints, some big enough to be fists, all scattered across her exposed skin. Rose's eyes barely gave a glance to the rainbow of colors dotting her torso, instead turned her shoulder to see how bad the bruising was. It stretched across her shoulder and down her side, a very angry shade of purple that was near black. How she was able to move her shoulder, the Doctor guessed was sheer will, because she shouldn't have been able to move it. And she had managed to land a solid blow on Jimmy while that had been forming.

*

The memory shifted again, and in that moment of confusion, the Doctor pulled back, pulling back hard enough to throw himself back a step. His hands shook, and his breathing was ragged as he looked up at Rose. She was calm on the outside, her eyes pink and tears running down her cheeks, but he could see every emotion that passed across her eyes.

"I told myself 'never again' Doctor," Rose said as she crossed her arms across her chest in an effort to comfort herself. "I won't be put in that position again, not even for the chance to see the universe.

"I saw what happened to those girls, Doctor," Rose said as she turned away, her hand reaching out to caress the edge of the console, feeling some comfort in the hum of the TARDIS. "I saw what they had been put through, what that bastard had tried to do to _me._ " Her voice filled with venom as she spoke. "Showed him you don't mess with Rose Tyler, not if you want to keep your male bits where they are. Do you know what he did instead?"

The Doctor shook his head, keeping quiet as he waited with apprehension. Rose turned around and pulled her hair up, showing the Doctor the deep burn marks that she had hidden from him upon his initial inspection. "He took great pleasure in my screams Doctor. Every time you caused him problems, he would spend time venting his frustration out on me." Rose pulled up her shirt to show her midriff and the fading purple bruising where he had hit Rose repeatedly.

"I took the beating and the shocks," Rose said, pulling her shirt down, "kept them hidden so they would heal and you wouldn't feel the guilt of my choice. I tried to keep his attention on me, to protect the other girls there in his compound.

"But one of the girls there was his favorite. He was crueler to her than any of the others, including me. He enjoyed breaking her Doctor, the poor girl wasn't much older than me. I saw no life in her eyes, not even when I tried to give her hope that you would save us." Rose looked down at the tips of her heels, shuffling them across the grating. "She killed herself to escape him, just a few hours before the revolt began."

"I'm so sorry Rose," the Doctor whispered. He wanted to hug her, to pull her into the warmth of his arms and keep the memories from ever touching her again. But she pulled back when he tried to step forward, her hands coming up to wipe away the tears trailing down her cheeks.

"That could've been my fate Doctor," Rose said. "It almost was. But I got away and put myself back together. You showing me the universe has helped me to realize I may not be worth much to others, but I am worth more than anyone will give me credit for, and I know it." And the Doctor could see it, the steel hidden in her eyes. He could see the strong woman who had been through a lot in her life and had come out stronger than those who tried to break her.

"Doctor, were you really willing to let that Dalek out, just to save me?" Rose asked, her red rimmed eyes boring into the Doctor's stormy blue eyes. "Or was it a tactical move to face down the Dalek?"

The Doctor reached for her hands and Rose held them up for him to take. He covered her fingertips with his palms as he allowed her access to the memory.

He recalled every detail of the conversation with Van Statten, the rage and pain that seeing a Dalek had brought forth in him. The man's arrogance, how it rubbed the Doctor the wrong way. The fear at hearing the power couldn't be sustained. How his hearts stuttered to beat as he whispered his apology to Rose, who would never hear how much it hurt him to make the tough decision. Rassilon, why did he always have to make the tough choices that ended in the deaths of those he cared for? He prayed, feverishly and in so many languages, that Rose would make it in time. He _needed_ her to make it in time.

She hadn't made it, his precious Rose. She was trapped on the other side of the bulkhead and he felt numb, knowing what that meant for her. And she was so strong, trying to tell him it wasn't his fault. She wouldn't have traded any of it, even if it ended in death, and the Doctor wished he could have killed the Dalek back in the room when he had had the chance. Just a little longer, and he wouldn't have had to make the choice that would end in her death.

Something black rose inside him, drawing him down into a dark spiral in the moments before she died. He was going to do things, things that Rose would never have approved of. Starting with the arrogant git Van Statten, then he was going to ensure this place was never found again. Because Rose had been ripped away from him, he was going to give into the urges, just this once, to forget he was the Doctor and loose himself in the Oncoming Storm. He couldn't feel anything beyond the pain of her loss, why should they be allowed to feel anything at all for what they had brought forth?

Then there she was, standing alive and whole and the Doctor couldn't believe what he was seeing. His hearts leapt into his throat as he watched her being threatened once more. He wasn't going to let her die again, no, he _couldn't_ let her be killed. He would sacrifice whatever it took to save her, the rest of the people inside this bunker, what little of his sanity he had left after the war, whatever it took.

The Dalek had it right, even if he couldn't admit it to himself. He loved Rose, and listening her be strong in the face of death only made him love her more.

No, he would save her, even if he had to kill the Dalek himself to do it.

Rose pulled back to her own mind, her eyes opening up to stare at the Doctor. He just looked at her, unsure how she would react. She just studied him, weighing what she knew in her head against what she felt. The Doctor held his breath, waiting to see what she would do.

Rose's hands slid from his temples to around his neck as she threw herself into his arms, finally allowing herself to break in front of him. The Doctor wrapped his arms around her shaking body and just held her, his face buried into the side of her neck as he couldn't believe his good fortune. One hand snaked up to cup the back of her head as she cried into his shoulder, mindful of the spots on her neck as he did so. He would fix the bruising and the burns as soon as she let him, but for now, he just let her cry out her hurt.

Rose stepped back and slapped him, with only part of the strength she had used several days ago.

"OH COME ON!" the Doctor yelled as he cupped his face.

"I am worth many things Doctor," Rose said as she sniffled. "But I am not worth all the lives you were willing to risk for me." Then Rose threw herself back into his arms. "No one decides my fate but me," she whispered into his shoulder.

"Duly noted Rose Tyler," the Doctor agreed, rubbing his cheek. "Just be sure to slap whomever else tries to decide for you."

Rose let out a watery laugh. "Then I suspect you will be slapped more often than you may like."

"I don't like being slapped at all!" the Doctor protested, pulling back to see the smile on Rose's lips and the sparkle in her eyes. "Rather attached to this face, even with the big ears and all."

"I question that very much Doctor," Rose laughed again. "You've done plenty to deserve one since I've traveled with you."

"And you've deserved this since I saw you swinging out on that chain to save me," the Doctor mumbled, cupping her cheek and pulling her in for a kiss. Rose only hesitated a moment before eagerly participating. His lips heated quickly against her own and the Doctor's hearts sored to new heights.

Here he was, finally finding the closest to perfect moment he could to kiss Rose Tyler like he had been wanting to for a while now. And she was kissing him back.

The TARDIS let her pleasure be known as well, a chorus of soft bells ringing in the background, that neither of them heard over the sound of their blood rushing in their ears and the excitement of a new chapter of their relationship. She didn't seem to mind at all, rather was just pleased her thief had _finally_ come to his senses. _And it only required some head trauma to do it,_ she laughed to herself.

The TARDIS brushed up against the Doctor's mind, nudging him out of his euphoric state to remind him of what he was forgetting. The Doctor broke the kiss, pressing a kiss to her lips in apology. "Got one more surprise for you," he explained as he unwrapped one of his arms to go digging in his pocket for his sonic screwdriver.

With the familiar whirling, the room darkened, even the console light muted considerably until they were standing in near darkness. "Watch this," the Doctor whispered as he moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her midriff carefully so she could see the show.

The walls started to glow, the blackness slowly bleeding into colors, hues of every color swirling about them. Small pale lights began to wink to life, dotting the walls around them and bathing them in a soft glow. Rose watched as the colors swirled about them before she realized what was happening.

"'s the universe," Rose whispered in awe.

"It's the birth of a small star forming in your constellation Cygnus," he pointed to the light forming in the center of the picture. Gases were being drawn in from above and below the star, creating a beautiful spectrum of colors. Rose just stood in awe of the display, watching as the universe breathed life and beauty into the scene. "Thought you'd like to see it."

"It's beautiful," Rose whispered as she watched the display, eyes rapt to the stars all around her.

"Not as beautiful as you Rose Tyler," the Doctor said and then grimaced.

Rose laughed heartily. "Sounding like a human romance novel there, Doctor?" she teased.

"Spending too much time around my favorite pink and yellow human," the Doctor shrugged. "Was bound to happen. Least it's not beans and toast," the Doctor made a face of disgust.

"Or a mortgage," Rose said, chuckling as she could feel rather than see the Doctor's face.

"Won't mind the domestics so much," the Doctor admitted to her as she was turned away. "'s long as it's with you."

"Can we have a pet then?" Rose teased.

"Wasn't Adam bad enough? Isn't Jack enough? Now you want another?" The Doctor wrapped one arm across her chest and squeezed gently. Rose just laughed, the sound ringing in the Doctor's head sweeter than any bells he had ever heard.

"True, Jack is toilet trained at least," Rose agreed. She turned in his arms to look at the Doctor.

"Care to take a twirl around the console room?" The Doctor said, a touch or mischief.

Rose smiled back. "Thought you'd never ask."

* * *

 

Jack was sitting with Jackie at her dining table, both holding a hand of cards and staring at each other over them. Jack was enjoying the little game of poker, even if Jackie had shot down his idea of making it more interesting. Currently she was winning anyways, and Jack was a bit more disappointed that it wasn't strip poker.

"Think she'll be back tonight?" Jackie asked as she glanced at the clock, noticing the late hour.

"'s after eleven yeah?" Jack said, checking his watch. "Wouldn't count on seeing them until tomorrow."

Jackie sighed as she placed two cards down and drew their replacements. "Should be worried, should go kick the door down and drag her back to her senses. It'll make living harder when she returns."

Jack snorted. "I pity the person who ever puts a finger between those two. They will lose the finger, maybe the whole arm before they have the time to think to pull it back." Jack put three cards down.

"'s deep that is," Jackie agreed as she laid her hand out before Jack. "I suppose it's also true too."

Jack laughed, even as he stared at her straight compared to his three of a kind. "The Doctor will take care of Rosie better than anyone else could ever dream of doing so."

Jackie looked down at the cards thoughtful. "Seems to care an awful lot, the Doctor does."

Jack cracked a grin as he shuffled the cards. "That's puttin' it mildly Jackie."

"So, should I expect grandkids, what with him being an alien an' all?" Jackie looked up at Jack, a touch of concern tinting her wistfulness.

Jack nearly fell out of his chair laughing, trying to imagine how the Doctor would handle Rose's mood swings. "I hope so Jackie," Jack admitted, "because I want to see him take on a hormonal Rose Tyler."

"Bet she will kick him out of the TARDIS and make him sleep on my couch," Jackie laughed at that thought, her side cramping up as she tried to picture the Doctor knocking on the door asking for a place to sleep.

"You'd better hide your toaster then," Jack warned. "He gets stressed and the first thing to be 'fixed' is always the toaster. There's an entire room devoted to dismantled toasters."

* * *

 

Rose woke to the sound of the sonic screwdriver whirling, the skin on her belly warm and tingling with the sensation of the dermal regeneration setting. She stayed still as she opened her eyes, staring up at the Doctor as he sat next to her, in only his pants, tending to the bruising on her.

"Could've used your help after I moved back in with my mum," Rose said smiling up at him, trying to make light of the serious look on his face.

"Not one to hurt others, you know me," the Doctor said as he kept his eyes on his work. She could see the edges of the Oncoming Storm brewing in his eyes. "But I'll make an exception for Jimmy Stone if he ever gives me a reason."

Rose shook her head as she reached out to place a hand on the Doctor's arm, calming the darkness creeping into his eyes. "The git isn't even worth the energy to hate. Besides," Rose sat up, pulling her shirt back down from where the Doctor had pushed it up. "Had I not gone through that, what kind of woman would I be today? Probably would've got my A-Levels and been far away from Henrik's when you came in. Never would've met you." Rose leaned in to press a warm kiss to the Doctor's lips, feeling his cooler ones press her for a deeper one.

When they broke away, the Doctor had set his sonic screwdriver aside and cupped her face with both palms. "Would've been a different setting, but I don't doubt we would've found each other." The Doctor pulled her into another deep kiss. "There are plenty of places I could leave Jimmy Stone that would be better than teaching him a percussive lesson," the Doctor tried to reason.

Laughing, Rose pushed him away as she got up out of bed. The Doctor let her push him away, enjoying the sight of Rose getting out of his bed, even if she was fully clothed. "Let it go Doctor," Rose said, as she headed for the door.

"Can I just..."

"NO DOCTOR," Rose laughed from down the hall. "Now come on, we have get Jack and say goodbye to mum before we leave. Or before Jack seduces my mum."

The Doctor was up in a flash, running down the hallway to catch up to her. "Can we leave the two of them for just a bit? Time machine and all, could be back before they miss us."

"With your piloting? I don't think so."

Rose's cellphone went off then, and the Doctor wrapped his arms around Rose's stomach, enjoying getting to hold on tight without fear of hurting her. Rose reached up to pat the side of the Doctor's face, her fingers gently brushing his temple with her fingers. She could feel the happiness and love the Doctor was currently feeling, even if it was for a fleeting moment and it made her single heart swell.

"Mum's wondering what we want for breakfast," Rose read as the Doctor nuzzled the side of her head. "And says Jack is complaining that he is missing out on the sex."

"Didn't know we were having sex," the Doctor commented. "Should've let me know we were; I would've woken up for it."

Rose turned and thumped his shoulder. "Oi! Trust me, you'll know when we are," Rose said, her cheeks a touch pink and it gave the Doctor all sorts of ideas.

"Will have to see if you're as impressive as you claim, Rose Tyler," the Doctor said as he kissed her on the lips sweetly. "Just not right now for either of us," the Doctor said.

"Agreed," Rose agreed. "Besides, mum's waiting."

"There's a mood killer," the Doctor muttered.

*SMACK*

"OI! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE HEAD?!"

* * *

 

 

THE END


End file.
